on one episode of Star Trek: TNG, some aliens wanted to clone Riker and he replied "That would diminish me in ways you cannot even imagine"

My cell phone died today -- it won't take a charge no matter how long it's plugged in or to what outlet. I went to Best Buy, where I have a maintenance plan, and they tried to look me up in the computer. They couldn't find me by phone number, so I asked if they could just look me up by name.

"The database is for the whole country," said the customer service lady, "so we get like 300 results."

"I have a really unusual last name," I said.

So she typed it in and I expected what usually happens when someone types in D-Z-I-U-R-A -- they look back up and say "Jennifer?"

Instead, she reads out an address that totally isn't mine. And then another. And another. There were FOUR Jennifer Dziuras in their database. I mean, there are usually NO other Dziuras in the phone book, much less Jennifer Dziuras. Now, there not only exist FOUR Jennifer Dziuras, but FOUR Jennifer Dziuras who bought cell phones at Best Buy.

I find it easier to believe that I have multiple personalities and have been squatting, Fight-Club style, in abandoned buildings around the city and opening multiple cell phone accounts with those addresses, than to believe in the existence of so many other Jennifer Dziuras.

The first rule of Jenisfamous is you don't talk about Jenisfamous.