Before MP3s, we had Columbia House. Now I get ridiculous free offers from Gevalia.

Remember how Columbia House used to send everybody those offers where you get 12 CDs for a penny, and then you have to buy six at regular price over the next year or something?

I knew people who would repeatedly sign up for the introductory membership, get boxes of free CDs, and just write "return to sender" on any further shipments. A guy in the house I lived in in college did this under obviously assumed names, like "Jean Valjean."

Now it's less effort to just download music, but I have a similar situation going on with Gevalia. It's a coffee club, where you pay $15 to join, for which you receive two 1/2 pound boxes of coffee, two lovely mugs, and a rather high-end coffeemaker. Then, you receive a monthly shipment of good but overpriced coffee. You can cancel this at any time. During my last membership, I wrote "return to sender" on the box of an unexpected coffee delivery and received a refund to my credit card, no questions asked.

I just logged into my Gevalia account and discovered that it would be cheaper to just pay $15 and get coffee, a new coffeemaker, mugs, and (new!) a silver coffee-serving spoon, than to order more coffee under my existing membership. So I signed up online for a new membership. No problems at all.

I think this will be my fifth or so Gevalia membership, and probably my third coffeemaker. (I've also received a carafe, and my Dad has gotten a nifty canister for referring me).