This is what makes people jump onto the subway tracks

You know what I think would be really funny? Well, I know there's such a thing as a batch graphics converter -- a program that just opens up a bunch of graphics files and converts them to a new format, or resizes them or something, without "looking" at them. I'm sure there is such a thing as a batch audio converter, and that a mischievous programmer could bring my vision to reality.

So, imagine a batch audio converter that would take a batch of MP3 files, superimpose a new audio track over them, and save them with the same filenames, rewriting over the originals.

Now imagine that the extra audio track were something like a slow, creepy voice whispering "This is the call of the devil, Joe Q. Smith. This is your obsessive compulsive disorder talking, your neuroses, your Oedpial complex, your malfunctioning conscience. You crazy fuck."

Now imagine you could grab someone's iPod for an hour or so, synch it to a computer running my program, and put little devil tracks in all their songs. In most songs, you'd have to keep it subtle -- just "Joe Q., I see you!" or something, mid-Bjork.