The Smut Show, at which Molly Crabapple was my merch girl

I performed "Seven Nights" last night at the Smut Show in Williamsburg.

About two minutes into my piece, this woman shuffled in, took a seat right up front next to her friend, and was all like "Oh, hi! I haven't seen you in AGES! Kiss kiss!"

And I stopped performing and said to her "Okay, hello, how rude are you? What are you doing, lady?"

She didn't even notice, and kept on talking.

And I said "Excuse me, new person. This is a sadomasochistic poetry reading."

And she said "Oh! Well, I'm a dominatrix?"

And I glared, dropped my voice a half-octave, and said "Not right now, you're not."

And she said "Yes, ma'am!" and sat down.

What a good-natured professional.

Also, a big thanks to poet/performance artist Regie Cabaco for buying my CD and flattering the fuck out of me by asking me to autograph it.