the Guinness Book people got back to me

The official world record I am attempting to break:

"Tim Vine (UK) told 499 jokes in one hour in front of a live paying audience at the Soho Theatre, London, UK on 7 October 2004."

The official rules for the record attempt are:

1. A paying audience should be in attendance.
2. Any attempt made on either record must be made by professionals.
3. For the duo marathon record, both performers must perform together and take their rest breaks simultaneously. It is not permitted to work a shift system.
4. All jokes should have a beginning, a middle, and an end.
5. The record is for joke telling NOT joke reading and at no time must any material be read from books, scripts, etc.
6. A maximum of 20 cue cards, just containing individual words, may be used, and these are to be checked by the independent witnesses to ensure that they carry nothing more than individual words or small groups of words.
7. Jokes which do not draw any laughter or favourable reaction from the audience should not be counted.
8. A log, maintained by independent witnesses, should be kept with the number of jokes told at five minute intervals.

So, if no one laughs, it wasn't simply an unfunny joke -- it wasn't a joke at all. That's very if-a-tree-falls-in-the-forest....

In any case, it'll take me awhile to pull together 500+ funny but extremely concise jokes.

You just sit tight.