forget the bibliography -- no one remembers authorship of anything

From Maureen, author of Lesbia the Fiery, which, as it turns out, she doesn't remember writing:

You do realize that the Jen is Famous masthead is a complete headtrip, don't you? From left to right you go from "Look at me! I'm dressed in salmon! I got this shirt from Land's End. Go, Middle America!" to "I ahm zo naked. And zo . . . French, perhaps? I is vhatever you vant."

Similarly, I recently spoke to Carlos, a guy I went on one date with once and who has gone down in history (using a very ephemeral view of history) in one of my jokes. I'm introducing this bit about tanning salons, and I offhandedly comment that "a Mexican guy I once dated said I had skin the color of ... aspirin."

Carlos thought it was hilarious that he had made it into a comedy club act, but wrote back:

You do realize that you made that comment, not me, right? I specifically remember making some crack about someone's skin color, then you cleverly rebounded with the aspirin (or was it some type of bread?) joke.

As I remember it, it was Carlos, who also said my skin could be chalked up (ooh, chalked, do I sense a pun coming on?) as -- rather than the pleasant-sounding "milky white" -- the color of "salt" or "cocaine."