outside Grand Central during morning rush hour, I have received free coffee, yogurt shakes, and antacids (not at the same time)

Last night on Ludlow Street, some women with very shiny legs gave me a free razor.

They were walking kind of like they were done for the night, and their shiny legs were tired, but one of them saw me and said, in a manner both aggressive and bored, "Want a free razor?"

This thing weighs half a pound! It has shiny metal racing stripes. I can't wait to remove all my socially unacceptable body hair!