snark, snark, snark

A certain sex columnist wrote to a number of us womyn and requested "some short, sexy, chatty quotes about your favorite sex toy" for an upcoming column. And, because I simply cannot give a straight answer to anything (see previous blog post in which I registered for my college reunion as "Jennifer Skywalker, maiden name Dziura"), I offered up the following panoply of responses:

"My favorite sex toy is your mom!"

"I have a blowup doll of Bob Hope. Is that wrong?"

"My favorite sex toy is just old-fashioned wooden clothespins used as nipple clamps. Not many people can say they are using sex toys that have been in their family for generations! If you use the old-fashioned ones that don't have springs, you can even feel vaguely colonial."