also in this issue: Jen Curses Out Brad!

The cover story of the current Star magazine is:

JESS' BUTT GOES FLAT!

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED
I am simply astounded that civilization has progressed to such a point that we have the resources to produce hundreds (thousands?) of weekly magazines, each written by a bevy of reporters and commentators, all glossy and attractively illustrated with photos, and the end result of it all is a cover story about Jessica Simpson's "deflated moneymaker."

Actually, no. That's too easy, making fun of Star magazine. The point that I find more interesting is that, in societies exhibiting a high degree of division of labor, no one really takes responsibility for collective foolishness. Certainly the people writing the magazine say "we only do it because the people want it," and consumers say "I only buy these things because they're so ridiculous." In the entire production cycle of editors, writers, executives, advertisers, distributors, and retail vendors, you won't find anyone who believes this product in any way nears the goodness or utility of sliced bread.

And, lest I leave you hanging on this topic, for those interested in the actual specifics of Ms. Simpson's posterior, it appears that she has always had a flat butt, both before and after her much-remarked-upon weight loss. She was likely wearing padded underpants during the filming of The Dukes of Hazzard, and simply neglected to continue wearing them during the promotion of the film, as one would imagine the underpants might be rather hot and uncomfortable, although perhaps useful for bike-riding.