the butchers of the Meet Market

Brian, who writes a blog about the New York Post's "Meet Market" dating column, has asked me to do some guest blogging.

The reason he has absconded his normal duties is that he himself is this week's dater (just as I once was, oh so long ago, before the cowboy and when I thought it was a good idea to date rockstars).

The blog's tone is quite snarky and Brian assured me that I could snark as well. "Be brutal," he wrote, "because I certainly haven't held back on anyone in the past."

The permalink to my review (it's about halfway down, under Brian's picture) is here. Excerpt below:

This week's Meet Market headline blares "Blogger Brian sks Web Woman." Oh, those clever Post reporters. Is "sks" some kind of trendy lingo from the world wide supernet WiFi highway? Or did the reporter text-message this article in?

And wherever does one find a good "web woman" these days? (Oh, Charlotte, my web woman, spin me a web of the finest spider silk so that I won't be eaten after the county fair. Quoth the web: "Some Dater!")

Brian describes himself as "generous, thoughful and romantic." He likes "cycling, jogging and swimming." He cannot live without "breakfast, lunch and dinner." He wants someone who is "confident, fairly intelligent and adventurous." He only likes things that come in threes! How will he ever choose but one woman? He also "volunteers with several organizations." Several, Brian? Did you mean three?

On Brian's worst-ever first date, he was dragged into Duane Reade, where his date tried to get him to buy her $40 worth of cosmetics, toiletries, and food.

Brian, that's what you get for picking up homeless teenage runaways on St. Marx Place.