I don't even need the donuts

I bought a coffee at Dunkin Donuts today, walked out with it, and did a U-turn right back into the store when I saw a poster advertising that, by getting a free checking account at Chase, one can obtain free coffee & donuts for a year!

As an avid aficionado of all things coffee-related, this offer is too good to pass up. The fine print specifies that one must set up direct deposit and keep the account open for six months, and that one's 52-week coupon book will arrive in 3-4 weeks.

A large coffee a week for a year is over $100 in cost savings! I will save enough on coffee to purchase one extra massage-with-happy-ending per year!

(Do they even have that for girls? No, don't tell me).