social dynamics and the $1 Room

Sometimes people say to me "I know I've seen you somewhere" and then I, to no avail, mention a couple of places and people we might have in common, and then I finally say, "Well, I have this website, jenisfamousdotcom?" and they say "Yes! That's it!"

It just occurred to me that maybe the ones who are hitting on me are lying about that.

Apparently I have molasses flowing through my synapses. Cold molasses.

In any case, I went to a comedy show tonight (The $1 Room) and had the unique experience of sitting in the front row and getting picked on. Yes, I'm sleepy, yes, it's cold in here, true, I am not laughing at this very moment because you are picking on me rather than telling a joke, no, I am not in a mime troupe.

I got hit on (in a nice, pleasant, flattering way) after the show by one of the other attendees, and it occurred to me that the reason it's gross to have men catcall you on the street, but nice to get actually asked out by a stranger, is that the guy who's asking you out is actually looking for your approval in some way and putting himself on the line, in a way that the catcalling man is not.

Interestingly, this can even carry over into strange men who ask you out, but in a way that is more like catcalling, and gross rather than flattering; i.e., the guy who tries to hold your hand at the bus stop and ask for your number, rebuffing your refusals with "Why you gotta be like that?"

In conclusion, the thing that makes it nice and flattering to get asked out is that the man is in some actual fear of rejection. Not that I'm having a schadenfreude response or anything. I am definitely a member of the club that is nice to guys who ask women out in a decent way.

Incidentally, I did have someone at the spelling bee quote one of my jokes from this blog back to me, which was very flattering (and not, as far as I could tell, part of anyone hitting on anyone).