the state of things

This evening I had a phone tutorial from the egg donation people regarding the new medications I am taking (on top of the old ones). After fully fifteen minutes of sucking liquid into a syringe and then pushing it into little bottles of powder and sucking the dissolved powder back up, the nurse asks "Are you okay with using your stomach for this?"

This, I do to give a gay man a baby, yes, but also, of course, for the money, which I am going to use to further my career, as it stands. Along with touring (info coming soon!), I am also going to get an iPod with one of those voice recorders, and an armband, so I can record all my comedy performances and then podcast them.

So I just stuck a giant needle into my stomach and injected a bunch of fertility drugs that kind of burn and hurt, but about an inch below the skin, so there's nothing I can do about it.

In response to a mention of my egg donation, comedian Al Wagner replied "How are you going to get an egg all the way to New Orleans without breaking it?"