Carnival Comedy Challenge

Yesterday I auditioned for the Carnival Cruise Lines Comedy Challenge; the winner receives a paid comedy gig on a cruise ship (and thus, obviously, a free cruise, and very likely a substantial infusion of shrimp* cocktail).

After the audition I ran off to run the spelling bee, and, in the intro portion, told the spelling audience about my audition. I had had a set list written on my wrist -- Campaign for Real Beauty, carbon-dating, Buffalo Soldier, layering, eggs/babymama -- and, after the audition, I was sitting on a bench on the E train platform and I thought it would be a good idea to get the ink off my wrist because TimeOut would be filming the spelling bee and my wrist might look strange. So I licked my wrist -- with full tongue! -- and then wiped it on my jeans. Because that would make me look less strange. And then I saw the people staring. Well, maybe just that one old guy.

But also, each of the comics received a folder of information including a badge, which seemed kind of strange, because we were already inside the Improv, and it wasn't clear just what we would need the badges to be admitted to. At the spelling bee, I pulled this badge out and demonstrated how, on the back, it just says "FUNNY." So, maybe if I were feeling bad about myself, I could just put the badge on sometime. FUNNY! But then it kind of reminded me of those t-shirts you see girls wearing that say things like "SEXY" written in glitter, the lesson of course being that, if you have to say it in glitter, well....

Anyway, everyone at the audition got three minutes. I did my three, it went well, and I ran off to run the spelling bee last night. I called the results hotline afterwards and discovered I made it to the finals. I am pleased, of course, although the finals are judged by audience applause and -- you guessed it -- they want us to bring people to the show. This means I have at least four shows coming up to which to invite all you fine people. That is a great many shows. Here, however, is the schedule:

• This Wednesday, 8:30, The Improv, Carnival Cruise Lines Comedy Challenge Finals ($12, I think)
  
• Next Monday, 7:30, Pete's, Comedy Show & Tell - bring a show and tell item to participate
  
• Next Wednesday, 10pm, Pete's, The Jenny Vaudeville Show
  
• Next Saturday, 7pm, The Improv, $12 with reservation only, call 212-465-3343 to reserve (this is also an audition, for me, for a college booker, so I will be previewing new material from my one-woman-show-in-progress, What Philosophy Majors Do After College

If you want my eternal love and gratitude, you know how to get it. (I am also performing this Friday, this Saturday in Philadelphia with Neal Pollack, next Tuesday at Chicks & Giggles, and every morning in the shower, and sometimes again after the gym. But the four shows above especially want your love and affection).

*The only food to which I am allergic.

Update: Enjoy this morose article about cruise ship comedians. Thanks to Derek for the link.