the newest food group (and it's not chocolate-covered macadamia nuts)

My friend Syd (who has made several appearances at Show & Tell) found this "queer pictogram" on the side of a box of Cheerios:


He writes:

That's right, it's a new food pyramid. You'll notice that the food groups have been made into vertical bars to make it much more unreadable. Also, you can tell that this new pyramid was made by our government because they added an "oils" group and, as we all know, our oil consumption is never high enough for the Bush administration. Also, you will notice some sort of malformed person scaling the new pyramid. He's Sisyphus, the depressing mascot of the new "exercise" group.

You know what? Fuck you, USDA. Why the hell did you put exercise on a food pyramid? The food pyramid isn't your fucking advice column. Why didn't you add a "floss daily" group or a "call your mother; she misses you" group? When I buy spaghetti, the package doesn't tell me to boil a pot of water and then jog half a mile. I know how important exercise is to healthy living, but a food pyramid is just supposed to tell you what food to eat. Our children are stupid enough without them thinking they have to eat exercise or worse - eat people who exercise.