this is why I have a box of black henna on my bathroom sink

In the interest of improving my general health (I still have a cold that is rather unfriendly to my performing career -- at the spelling bee, my voice went from deep and throaty to cracking like a teenage boy's), I looked up some information on natural products that might be helpful, since I figured that long-term use of Alka-Seltzer Cold & Flu might not be the best idea. Well, really, it was the warning that said that Alka-Seltzer Cold & Flu plus alcohol could cause stomach bleeding. Even sick* women enjoy a nice glass of red at a show, you know?

So I did some reading and was pretty turned off by all the information about what's in our soaps and shampoos and such, and now those damn hippies have got me washing my face with freaking green tea. Like some kind of tree-hugger with a clear but strangely herbal-smelling complexion.

You know what else? Black hair dye apparently causes bladder cancer. Isn't that a strangely specific carcinogenic effect? Does blonde hair dye give you breast-implant cancer? (Oh, I didn't say that).

* Please think of me as romantically ill, like in Moulin Rouge.