after I went looking for a lingerie Barbie photo for this post, I actually kind of want a lingerie Barbie
Also from Scanner, gay Ken doll porn! Okay, they're knockoff Ken dolls, probably to avoid Mattel lawsuits. But it's still Ken-doll porn to me.
When I was eleven, I had a giant Barbie dollhouse in my bedroom that I felt I was too old for. In the very-urgent-but-awkward progression of adolescence, I found its very presence mortifying. I wasn't allowed to get rid of the dollhouse, though, until my mom got around to packing it up -- in my house we took very, very good care of our toys and never damaged or altered them, and when we outgrew them, they were packed in boxes for our progeny. (Yes, that's a little weird, but a family could do worse).
I pestered my mother about getting rid of the dastardly Barbie Dream House -- peopled by three Kens and at least twice as many Barbies and Skippers -- but there it stayed, mocking me with its satin canopy bed and utility kitchen with light-up oven.
One day, I put all the Barbies in their lingerie and high heels and arranged them around the house, brothel-style, and then a Barbie and a Ken, naked, missionary-position, in the canopy bed, and then one Ken bent over the utility kitchen and the other Ken being the first Ken's special friend. That was also the day my mom's one born-again friend was visiting. The Barbies finally got packed away.
I'm sure you've all seen the classic bondage Barbie photos, but here's a more organic entry -- this blogger's kids made unintentional Barbie porn.
When I have kids, they're going to have a lot of vintage slutty Barbies.
When I was eleven, I had a giant Barbie dollhouse in my bedroom that I felt I was too old for. In the very-urgent-but-awkward progression of adolescence, I found its very presence mortifying. I wasn't allowed to get rid of the dollhouse, though, until my mom got around to packing it up -- in my house we took very, very good care of our toys and never damaged or altered them, and when we outgrew them, they were packed in boxes for our progeny. (Yes, that's a little weird, but a family could do worse).
I pestered my mother about getting rid of the dastardly Barbie Dream House -- peopled by three Kens and at least twice as many Barbies and Skippers -- but there it stayed, mocking me with its satin canopy bed and utility kitchen with light-up oven.
One day, I put all the Barbies in their lingerie and high heels and arranged them around the house, brothel-style, and then a Barbie and a Ken, naked, missionary-position, in the canopy bed, and then one Ken bent over the utility kitchen and the other Ken being the first Ken's special friend. That was also the day my mom's one born-again friend was visiting. The Barbies finally got packed away.I'm sure you've all seen the classic bondage Barbie photos, but here's a more organic entry -- this blogger's kids made unintentional Barbie porn.
When I have kids, they're going to have a lot of vintage slutty Barbies.
posted by JenIsFamous at 1/19/2006 12:44:00 AM
2 Comments:
I had a one-night adventure once with a 37 y/o woman who still had all her dolls living in a dollhouse in her bedroom. The bedroom walls were lined with shelves of boxed up dolls watching as I violated their master. I can still see the doll eyes watching all my sins everyday.
I'm the blogger's kid's father, and this unintentional barbie porn (or troll porn) photo generates an amazing amount of traffic from Google and Yahoo. So we stuck a Google ad on the page and it generates a couple bucks a month. A bizarre family project.
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