the best-behaved religion award goes to....

So you know how Muslims have been blowing shit up over some Danish cartoons containing offensive depictions of Muhammad? Quoth Gawker:

So you know those caricatures of Mohammed... the ones that prompted the State Department spokeman to say, “We find them offensive, and we certainly understand why Muslims would find these images offensive”? (We thought part of that whole spreading-Democracy idea would include, say, pointing out that free speech is a good thing and cartoon-based arson is a bad thing. But, then, we’re not Republicans, so clearly we misunderstand.)

Well, here's something offensive, but I've yet to see any Jews setting beverage plants on fire over this:

"Also available in a low-carb Sugar Free variety!"
Possible new slogans:

"Why bother to learn Hebrew... just drink Hebrew!"

"You thought you had to be a Jewish male over 40 to study Kabbalah? Forget that -- you can 'study' at any Duane Reade in town for just $2.49!"

"Staying inside and studying the Torah makes you fat -- slim down with our sugar-free Kabbalah beverage!"

"Judiasm requires work! Instead, drink whatever crap Madonna tells you to drink!"

"Kabbalah Energy Drink -- don't pop the top on Shabbat!"