Citibank, your mom's ASS is outsourced

Just before the big show, my credit card numbers were swiped and someone bought $1300 worth of crap on my card. The bank called to ask if I had been making large purchases in the wee hours of the morning, and when I said I had not, my account was frozen.

I just got my new card and called to activate it. I was eventually connected to a woman (I'm still on hold with her) with an unmistakable Indian accent who asked for my card number eight times before entering it correctly. Her English-language vocabulary seems to be made up entirely of the phrases "No problem, ma'am," "Just give me a minute," and "Please bear with me." She was completely unable to parse the sentence "I am trying to set up my online banking with my new card number, and I keep receiving an error message." ("You are trying to online revenue card computer bank now?")

At one point, she asked "How are you today?" and I said "Fine," and she replied in the most awkward way possible: "That sounds good."

I know that this is considered a good job in India, but this woman sounds just as miserable as she's making me.