whom am I marrying?
"Hey, I just read your blog -- are you really getting married? Or is it like getting married to the sea, or your job? 'Cause that'd be different."
Savvy knows the real answer, but when I didn't write back right away, she backtracked and guessed incorrectly.
Most inappropriate answers:
"Your Mom"
"Are you SURE it's mine?"
"Ellen DeGeneres"
And, the winner...
"You're marrying the cab driver who hit you?"
Savvy knows the real answer, but when I didn't write back right away, she backtracked and guessed incorrectly.
Most inappropriate answers:
"Your Mom"
"Are you SURE it's mine?"
"Ellen DeGeneres"
And, the winner...
"You're marrying the cab driver who hit you?"
posted by JenIsFamous at 3/08/2006 11:30:00 AM
5 Comments:
Best wishes again, Jennifer, for a long and happy life together. (Or at least an equitable distribution of community property including Calphalon fondue pot and favorite Harry Nilsson album. Whatever.)
Um. . .
Enquiring minds want to know--if it's NOT the sea, your job, yo mama, the guy who knocked you up, Ellen DeGeneres, Christ, Koresh, or any of the other usual suspects. . .WHO IS THE BETROTHED OF JENNIFER DZIURA?
WAIT! I actually know this.
KRISTEN SHEPARD!
Huh? That's who shot J.R.? I'm an idiot?
Okay, shutting up now.
Oh, it's not a trick answer. It's the obvious answer. And yes, that's his real name :)
Jen
Well, you wouldn't be shortening your last name even if you eschewed that doebrown-y nonsense, but on a brighter note. . .YOU'RE DOUBLING YOUR HAIR CARE PRODUCTS, JEN!!!
(Where are you two registering--John Frida? Paul Mitchell? I tried to log on to Scott J's website, but gather that one has to link through Aveda, huh?)
On a more important note, check out this link, from Bloomingdale's "Travel & Personal Care" page associated with bridal registration:
http://bloomingdales.weddingchannel.com/bl/registrycatalog.asp?uid=8560&CategoryID=814&origin=nav
Let's think about this for about a nanosecond, shall we? The two most popular registry items are a five-piece luggage set or. . .AN IRON! And not even a very good iron. Not a Calloway nine-iron, which I could actually understand being that I am a guy and therefore an idiot. No, a fucking iron such as she might use on his wife-beaters. Maybe an iron such as she might throw at him were he to ever buy her AN IRON for their anniversary. That kinda iron.
(Gee whiz, now I won't have to buy her an iron for our anniversary! THANKS, Uncle Vinnie!)
Jesus!
Please, please, please weigh in on this, as only you can. To my mind, it's like choosing between a ride in a stretch limousine, or a free oil change. Sure, the oil change might come in handy, but so would a crisply starched shirt.
Unless your nearest and dearest are complete sadists, someone should be dialing all-7s and telling the operator to have the car downstairs at 7. Bring small bills so you don't have to carry the five-piece luggage set. Don't drink the water. Bon voyage. Maholo aloha. Whatever.
LORD: Yeah, how ya doin' today? I, uh, have this voucher for a free--(pause) --ride to the air-- (pause) Kennedy. (pause) What? (pause) Oh, Alitalia. (pause) Huh? (pause) Oh, pleasure. Definitely pleasure. Plea-sura con Dziura. Heh heh. (pause) Nope, never been. My wi--(chuckling) Lemme see--where AREN'T we going? Rome, Milan, Venice. All over, really. (pause) Three weeks. (pause) Well, THANK you. That's very nice of you. Thank you very much. (shouting) HON-EY? HEY, JENNNNNNNN? THE LADY FROM THE LIMO SAYS SHE'S GONNA UPGRADE US FROM THE LINCOLN TO THE CADDY. (pause) How did you know I was going on my honeymoon? (pause) Oh, you got the iron, huh? (as if consoling the beareaved) I'm sorry.
Or something like that. . .
""You're marrying the cab driver who hit you?"
You just couldn't anyways. Because it'd be like copying "Sex and the City"... You're too original for that...
But Charlotte married the handsome doctor who SAVED her from getting hit by a cab! That's entirely different!
j
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