concluding a decade-long chapter involving too many trips by way of the Astor Place stop on the 6

I am so glad I don't have to date anymore. Guess what? I NEVER liked having drinks in the East Village. Even if it's halfway between my place in East Harlem and your place on the west side or in Brooklyn or wherever. Meeting up for drinks in the East Village makes me want to punch someone. One time I suggested meeting up for soup in the East Village instead. I got my soup, but it's weird to have a first date when you're spooning lentils to your mouth. This also makes me want to punch someone.

At one point when I was dating I just started insisting that all first dates take place in my neighborhood, which was a good tool for screening out those of unsufficient motivation (to be on the date, or to come to Harlem). Once, I went on a first date in my neighborhood with a guy who, after we had drinks, was really excessively worried about how dangerous it might be to walk to the subway, or even stand outside long enough to catch a cab. I was miffed. "I live here," I said, "plus ... you're Mexican!" He was (Mexican-American), but he wasn't from the city.

It is also really hard to unsubscribe from the stupid dating sites I was once on. I posted here once about my attempt to use eHarmony ("in my town" doesn't mean WEEHAWKEN or BERGEN COUNTY), and, despite letting my membership lapse probably a year ago, I got an email that another member wanted to communicate with me, and in order to actually delete all trace of myself from their site, I had to basically go through five or six "unsubscribe" screens, at the bottom of which I'd have to click buttons that said things like "I do not believe in love; I wish to unsubscribe." This, too, makes me want to punch someone.

Maybe I should take up boxing again. Probably not the week before the wedding.

(Photo by Aeric Meredith-Goujon. I don't have any photos of me punching someone).