non-sequitur advertising masquerading as analogous reasoning
I took this photo at a public school where I was teaching:
"You wouldn't take your dog to the prom. Don't take a test without CliffsNotes."
Are people who create such horribly mismatched analogies really to be trusted with creating educational supplements?
Something like "You wouldn't skydive without a parachute. Don't take a test without CliffsNotes" would work; here we need an analogy that likens CliffsNotes to a form of preparation or protection. But "You wouldn't take your dog to the prom?" That's unsalvageable.
"You wouldn't wear a trash can full of waffles on your head -- don't use non-organic salad dressing!"
"You wouldn't take your dog to the prom. Don't take a test without CliffsNotes."
Are people who create such horribly mismatched analogies really to be trusted with creating educational supplements?
Something like "You wouldn't skydive without a parachute. Don't take a test without CliffsNotes" would work; here we need an analogy that likens CliffsNotes to a form of preparation or protection. But "You wouldn't take your dog to the prom?" That's unsalvageable.
"You wouldn't wear a trash can full of waffles on your head -- don't use non-organic salad dressing!"
posted by JenIsFamous at 4/10/2006 09:02:00 AM
7 Comments:
I'm confused. Are you saying you would take a dog to your prom?
It's not a mismatched analogy if you interpret their comment to mean taking Cliff's Notes TO the test. In other words, cheating.
Or does it mean, "Don't take a test for which there are not Cliff notes?" If you cannot get notes for the actual questions that will appear on the test, don't take that test. Don't you do it! It's a bad test. It's a test not to be trusted. It's a test of your RETAINED KNOWLEDGE, for godsake. . .
Yes, I agree that it is extremely annoying when Little League linguists--like the lotsa 'literation?--use misplaced metaphors. I mean, you wouldn't wear pastels to a funeral. Don't sprinkle your conversation with mismatched analogies, either!
Just an aside: I was trying to "explain" Lorne Michaels to a friend recently. I couldn't. The man is like an inscrutable Zen koan.
But I will tell you, Jen, that you've hit on it! There it is!
Lorne Michaels is the kind of guy who would take a silly premise like "Mismatched Analogies Man" and try to turn it into a feature film starring, say, Kevin Nealon that would bring suck to a level heretofore considered unattainable. Just when you thought that a complete waste of celluloid like, say, SNL alum Rob Schneider's Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo was the "DiMaggio's 56-Game Hitting Streak" of suck, Lorne Michaels would come along with a vehicle* for someone like Kevin Nealon.
Man, I HATE when Lorne Michaels does that. I mean, you wouldn't wear white after Labor Day. Don't make movies out of stupid conceits that are amusing for all of ten seconds.
* Is something really a vehicle if it is pretty much inert? I mean, you wouldn't call coriander cilan. . .I mean, you wouldn't call a pickle a potato. Don't call things not used to transport other things "vehicles"!
I think what the advertisers were going for was the theme of embarrassment.
Taking your dog to the prom would be embarrassing and they want kids to think that if they don't use cliffs notes it will be too.
"Dude, you studied for that test using class notes and the textbook? What a loser man. Now you totally can't come smoke pot with us while we cut gym. loser."
With all due respect Mint, that cannot be it. I am probably older than you and I can remember my own prom. Believe me, I would have been happy to bring a seeing eye dog because then I could have used the excuse of blindness for why I was with a guy who was wearing a white tuxedo with a black ruffled shirt.
We both looked ridiculous, actually. It was 1978 and the middle of the disco craze. The theme of my high school prom was Disco Infero and my date looked like a cross between a Jewish John Travolta and a 70s porn star, complete with sunglasses and mustache! I had a bad perm and too much makeup. My brother told me that I looked pretty but I know that he was probably secretly thinking that his sister looked like a total hoo-ah.
Honestly, I believe that if given an opportunity many women my age would have brought their dogs, or their cats or hamsters or whatever pets they owned to their proms. I went to my 25th high school reunion a few years ago and there was a woman from my class wearing a pashmena. Too bad those weren't in fashion in the 70s or I would have brought the blanket my grandmother crocheted for me when I was a baby and claimed it was one even if it didn't go with my dress.
I agree that it's a terrible analogy. You WOULD bring your dog to the prom. The problem is that you CAN'T! Gee thanks for reminding me a bad flashback CliffNotes!
Ha ha! My prom thankfully wasn't in the middle of the disco craze but was still bad enough. There were still enough powder blue tuxes and definitely enough eye blue eye shadow to chalk pool cues. So yeah--it's not that you wouldn't bring the dog. You CAN'T bring the dog! That's the point.
Good job, Ellen!
One quick thing for Matt Penn: Didn't you hate when we were in school and there'd always be the kid who would ask whether something was going to be on the test? What do you think idiot? The teacher is just telling us this shit to hear himself talk? Like he thought we just might be INTERESTED in knowing that Woodrow Wilson was elected in whatever year? If he said it, it might be on the test. That's why you have your OWN notes and don't have to read Cliffs if you've been paying attention and keeping your own.
Those are funny comments.
If I were writing the tagline, it would go along the lines of...
"You wouldn't take your dog to the prom... well, not before asking your cat first... Cliff's Notes, official sponsors of bestiality in the classroom."
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