you and your stupid peanut allergies
I teach a class in a school that had a sign for a bake sale that asked people to bring in baked goods, but reminded them that "This is a nut-free school."It made me wish I were on some other school's football team, so that when we played this school, I could say "Yeah, you ARE a nut-free school."
posted by JenIsFamous at 4/27/2006 10:53:00 PM
23 Comments:
I always wonder about that nut-free zone logo which features a peanut. Don't all the other nuts, like the almond, the walnut and the trusy pecan (to name but a few) get a tad jealous?
I'm a nut, and things like that make me ANGRY.
I'm dying to write something related to school or football where I can use "nut" as a verb. It's too early I guess. I'll have to work a little more before my creative juices can spurt forth in triumph.
This sort of thing is indeed nuts. Just last week, the Connecticut state legislature voted on a measure to ban the sale of soft drinks at vending machines in all Connecticut high schools. On its surface, the proposal seemed reasonable enough: adolescent obesity is a problem; children need to exercise more and drink fewer sodas; three Red Bulls do not a nutritious breakfast or substitute for a good night's sleep make; etc.
Well, fine. But at what point are we going to say to parents that the responsibility for raising their own children is, um, THEIRS? I mean, Jesus--if your kid happens to be allergic to peanuts, can't you just teach him or her to say to a teacher, "Ms. Dziura, do those brownies have any nuts in them? My mom says I can't eat them if they do." How difficult is that, really?
Additionally, how difficult would it be to send a FRIENDLY reminder to parents about the prevalence in children of childhood food allergies to such things as chocolate and peanuts--as if they are not aware already--so that if planning birthday parties and the like, they will be more sensitized to the fact that this or that child may not be able to enjoy a particular type of birthday cake or flavor of ice cream? What do you suppose are the odds that a "Ms. Dziura", confronted with a crying child who could not eat the "male" brownies, would not say, "Look what I have here for you. . .," and then fork over an instant cure for crying. C'mon. Anyone who's ever been around a child for five minutes has taken the Toddler Mollification seminar.
Most good parents--and certainly anyone licensed, or otherwise entrusted, to work with small children--realize all this. If I am cognizant of the fact that where children and bake sales are concerned, you don't want to have some youngster "shut out" because there's nothing for him or her, you may believe that teachers and parents are aware of it, too. And in any case, my mother, with three kids of her own, was a lot hipper to childhood's little vicissitudes, than was my 22 year-old, unmarried, childless third grade teacher. (That's why when my siblings and I had our birthday parties in school back in the days when dinosaurs still roamed the earth, Mom would buy a box of both the yellow and the "regular" Hostess cupcakes.)
It's called Parenting 101, and by the time your kids are old enough to be in schools with bake sales, you've learned a few tricks of the trade without having to be schooled, or otherwise condescended to, by these nutbags.
Well, it's a little more complicated than that, Matt -- apparently, some kids have such severe peanut allergies that anyone ELSE eating peanuts can send them into a life-threatening allergic reaction. Just from peanut dust. I am not shitting you. Peanut dust.
So for the kid to be able to attend the school at all, the entire school population has to be banned from eating peanuts. I've read about this in news accounts, including one wherein a non-allergic kid was punished for having a PB&J in the lunchroom.
So, what does one do about kids who can't be around ANY peanuts, EVER?
Well, there's this thing called natural selection....
I think if PEANUT DUST will kill you, you're a bit of a marked child.
J
Admittedly, Jen, I did NOT know about so-called "peanut dust". But assuming that ISN'T complete bullshit, I will tell you in all seriousness that it changes my opinion entirely.
IF it can be demonstrated that "peanut dust" is in fact more dangerous to a child than, say, secondary smoke ever has been proven to be for someone who happens to work in a goddamn BAR, then I do think that children have a right to be safeguarded from a potentially hazardous (to them) environment.
I happen to be violently allergic to turpentine. The fumes alone can make me very, very ill, and when I had my apartment painted I had to check into a hotel for the weekend. No joke. (This was discovered when I was a child and had to make my father a project in Shop that we were expected to stain. The teacher told me to wash my hands with some stuff to which I had such a violent allergy that I had to be rushed to an emergency room with a paw that looked like a bear claw but didn't taste as good.)
Now, do I think that Shop should have been banned from school because of my own peculiar dermatological or respiratory make-up? Of course not. (That mindset is a by-product of what I call the misguided "Age of Indignance" nonsense with which we are confronted daily, but from which I was thankfully spared as a youth.) But I DO think that if "peanut dust", like secondary smoke, is harmful to your child--and, I hasten to add, is NOT such an unusual phenomena endemic ONLY to your child, as my turpentine thing was--then your child should have a right to a safe (for him or her) environment in which to be educated. If that means that he or she gets to eat lunch in a classroom with the other members of the Peanut Gallery, while the other kids eat their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the cafeteria, so be it. If that means some faculty member has to serve as a chaperone for the half hour it takes the Peanut Gallery to eat their sandwiches in the classroom, so be it. Sometimes, the Americans with Disabilities Act can be taken to absurd lengths, but it is the law of the land.
My sister is an Assistant U.S. Attorney who would like to be a federal judge one day. (Speaking of empowerment! I'LL be empowered when I can park wherever I want! LOL) I asked her about this issue and she responded:
"Good point about the secondary smoke, bro! I see your law school education paid off.
Yeah, if 'peanut dust' is your child's 'secondary smoke', your child has a right to have it, or himself or herself, removed froma harmful environment. What seems strange, however, is that there is no incumbency put on parents to inform schools that their children might need separate facilities to eat their lunch. Instead, all children are forced to conform to a ban, when the one child could be easily removed from a harmful environment.
No doubt, that's because we don't want any child to feel 'singled out'. But how ridiculous is that? I am a mother. Believe me, if your nephew's 'crazy mom' was the one responsible for The Peanut Butter Battle and ensuing ban, and my son's classmates found that out, I'd have to hire a body guard to get him through the gauntlet every morning! He'd be singled out for sure.
What can I tell ya, Matt, that you don't know already? (And you know plenty, my smartypants sib!) It's an overly litigious society, and I deal with that every day."
Allison Penn is going to be a brilliant, not-easily-pidgeon-holed jurist one day, Jen; an empowered, sensible, woman for whom labels do not apply, and of whom you and Molly would be as proud as I am!
I'm confused by something here: Why would a child be punished for having a PB&J sandwich in a LUNCHROOM? Isn't that pretty much a staple of childhood? A peanut butter sandwich isn't a box cutter or a gun! And in any case, if anything, why not call the PARENT who presumably packed the lunch?
It's like that question they ask you at the airport. Did someone else pack your bag? Well, yes--my MOM! Duh!
Nutty the Peanut says--
If you like to nut in your sandwich, make sure it's yours and not your friend's. Your nuts might make a friend get sick!
I agree with Jen, we should kill off the kids with peanut allergies, that way we ensure that future generations of kids can enjoy peanut buttered sandwiches - YIPPPPEEEEE!! KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL.
'Peanut dust' is a myth, just like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny or the tooth fairy. If peanut dust doesn't kill a kid, then Freddie Krueger will.
I suspect it's only a really valid issues on airplanes, with their circulating air. I guess if the lunchroom was having Peanut Day that would be too much, but generally dust is a mild irritant.
I knew a guy so allergic that he was affected by peanut dust. He accidentally ate a peanut, and it killed him. Draw your own conclusions.
Really?
That's quite an Achilles' Peanut!
Jen
No offense, but my conclusion is that your friend must have choked to death or else eaten a handful of peanuts. I don't believe that you can die eating just one.
No offense, but my conclusion is that your friend must have choked to death or else eaten a handful of peanuts. I don't believe that you can die eating just one.
He could have eaten the Queen Peanut. They are the most lethal in a peanut hive. The Worker Peanuts will only cause a mild irritation and swelling of the throat cavity when eaten. That's very unfortunate.
Well we can all feel safe (or not)
that NYC is not a nut free zone!!!
True story -- on a plane flight recently, the flight attendant announced that due to a person on the plane who had severe peanut allergies, this would be a "nut free flight". This meant no food for anyone, as even a flake of peanut dust could have killed her instantly.
I happened to be sitting behind the woman with the allergies (I overheard her talking to the attendant). Exiting the plane, this woman, obviously concerned about her health & safety, walked off the plane, with both her shoelaces completely untied and dragging on the ground.
So here's a woman who, due to her fear of peanuts, starves an entire plane full of people, and then proceeds to walk around the airport with both her shoes untied.
What's more likely, that a flake of peanut dust would kill her, or that she'd fucking trip on her shoelaces and go head first and land on some kid's peanut butter sandwich.
Superman's arch-nemesis was Lex Luthor, not Mr. Peanut, okay? When did peanuts become fucking kryptonite, I wonder? One peanut will kill a person? That's amazing considering that an entire brick of kryptonite would only give the Man of Steel a headache and make him a little disoriented. I know he was a superhero and most Americans are obese. . .but gimme a break. I agree with you, Jen--survival of the fittest! You probably have it coming to you anyway if a peanut can kill you.
This is all a bunch of ridiculous psychosomatic bullshit. Sorry, but if you ask me, fear of dying from a peanut is probably what kills these people. They're so preoccupied with dodging peanut dust they don't even see the car coming when they step off the curb with their shoelaces untied.
Peanut allergies are just a hoax, used as a shield by people who are too afraid to admit they don't like something. It's because they percieve this fear as a flaw in their being that they must have an excuse, an "allergy", to explain why they cannot eat something.
These "peanut allergy" fruitloops should be stranded on a deserted island with only a crate of peanuts to eat. I bet after a few days they'd find a miracle cure to their "allergy".
No ASSHOLE, I'd die of STARVATION!
For those of you who think this is a laughing matter, or who think that it cannot happen: Please google some of the following names. For some of them, there are other people, unrelated, with the same name, so if you have trouble finding the right one add "allergy" or "peanut" to your search.
Katherine Brodsky
Lucie Crawford
Megan Morris
Kristine Diane Kastner
Marcus Davila
Alex Baptist
Chantelle Yambao
Emily Vonder Meulen
Brent Schivley
Nathan Francis
Mohsen Hussain
This is not by any means a complete list--there are many others.
When the immune system is strong and has little to do, histamine systems can go out of check and cause food allergies.
What does this mean for you?
My germs will eat your germs for lunch - that is what I call survival of the fittest. So next time you get the sniffles, don't come crying.
How's that for natural selection? :)
It's not peanut DUST, it's peanut OIL! And there will never be a truly nut-free zone. There are trace amounts of nuts almost everywhere. You also can't guarantee that somebody didn't have peanut butter or nut containing food for breakfast and didn't wash their hands. Oops, played on the same playground equipment, left some nut residue. And what happens to the allergic kids when they go to college or work and those places aren't so accommodating? Are we going to ban nuts from the entire nation? Ban eggs, wheat, dairy, seafood and other potentially fatal allergens? Ban bees and wasps? Ban sugar for all the diabetics?
Teach the allergic kids which foods to avoid and strap an Epi-Pen on them, let them eat lunch in a separate room or at a separate table, or else keep them at home in a plastic bubble. Just don't expect the rest of the world to be as diligent as you, the parent, should be. And don't tell me what I can or can't feed MY child.
I am one of those persons you refer to as "you and your stupid peanut allergies". I assure you it is a real and very deadly allergy. If you would like to see a doctor's report I would gladly submit one. I have been severly allergic to peanut dust and peanut by-products all my life. I am now 56, and have been able to avoid most situations where I would have contact with the allergens. This includes "in flight situations". I have only 3 times in my life gone into anaphylactic shock because I am diligent in reading packages for hidden ingredients, and avoidance of individuals who have consumed peanut products. YES, the smell can and does trigger a reaction. An epi-pen can sustain a person with a reaction until advanced medical attention can be obtained, but it cannot stop an attack, and sometimes the severity of the attack cannot be stopped resulting in death for the allergic person.
And yes, it is the responsibility of the parents to see that their children with these allergies are kept from the harmful affects, this includes classrooms, play equipment, etc. Sometimes this is just not enough, (and by the way, this is a life long allergy, it does not go away). How would you feel as a human being if you were the responsible party for contributing to someone's demise because you consider it a "bullshit" allergy. It is REAL people. If you see someone who is disabled from disease, stroke, car accident, or birth defects, do you imbecils make jokes about them also. Wake up and do the research. Type in peanut dust allergy in your browser. Educate yourself first, then talk. And while you are at it, look up also anaphylactic shock, see what can and does "really" happen. Its not pretty, and it certainly is scary and painful.
I too am a person who has a allergy to nuts. I only develope this problem at the age of 22, and let me tell you I can see both sides, but the fact of the matter is that until you have your chest close and nearly die you can't talk trash about people who are careful. I am sorry but if someone needs to eat nuts so badly then it won't kill them to move away or wait yet that persons lack of allergy education CAN KILL ME. Things such a peanut dust and any nut oils even just the smell can and has taken the lives of many. It is not something funny or to joke about. I tell you what let someone hold a pillow over your face while sitting on your chest and then imagine that feeling but no easy way to stop it. Only then can you complain about nut free signs and places.
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