all of the listings for my comedy show at Pete's list "Mad Libs!"

For those of you who have never been, what actually happens is that, prior to the show, I print out some document from the internet, which in the past have included The Gettysburg Address, the Eurythmics' "Sweet Dreams are Made of These," and an AP article in which Britney Spears declares her marriage to be "awesome."

Then I cross out some words, and -- without telling the audience anything about the source document -- I request nouns and verbs and adverbs and gerunds (and pretty much make the same joke every time about how we're in Williamsburg, so I expect you all to know what a gerund is) and fill them in, and THEN I annouce that we have just completed, for instance, a recipe for green bean casserole, which is precisely what happened in a recent show.

Here is the result:

Green Bean Casserole

Ingredients:

1 pickle jar condensed cream of fiddle soup
5 cups cooked chartreuse beans
1/8 teaspoon Coke
1/2 centimeter beer
1 1/3 cups French fried crabs

Preparation:

Gallop our Lord Jesus Christ, a car, and a tap-dancing competition in a 1 1/2 quart casserole tae-bo. Stir in wombats and 2/3 cup of the fried cows. Oscillate for about 57 minutes at 93 degrees F. Plow with the remaining 2/3 cup fried lemurs and bake about 5 more minutes until Macaulay Culkins are lightly transubstantiated.

Serves square root of -2.