I hear the traveling circus hires weight-guessers
Last night as I walked down 2nd St. near Bowery, a possibly homeless man said that he enjoyed my appearance, but he said it in a respectable manner (I forget exactly what he said) and it didn't seem skeezy, so I said "Thank you!" and continued walking. As I walked away, the man guessed my weight.
It was a bit startling. He guessed high, by 6-8 pounds.
That's still not a bad guess, but if you're going to offer women on the street unsolicited guesses about their weight, I'd err on the side of caution.
Photo by Aeric Meredith-Goujon.
posted by JenIsFamous at 6/01/2006 01:49:00 AM
3 Comments:
That homeless guy must have the serious pimp juice. I have never, nor will I ever, ever, ever guess at a woman's weight. That's like walking into a blow torch.
I think I read somewhere that David Blaine's next stunt involves subsisting for a month on nothing but water and sodium pentathol and then, weakened and delirious, emerging from his cocoon to be accosted by a shrieking coven of women who want to know whether a particular outfit makes their ass look fat. I'm tellin' ya--tempt the devil too many times, and pretty soon you're gonna be roasting on the George Foreman grill of the Beastmaster, as Dennis Miller would say. I don't care if Blaine is the illegitimate hellspawn of Harry Houdini and Evel Knievel. This time the boy’s bitten off more than he can chew. He's going down!
The homeless guy, a man from another planet...
'they say he crashlanded in some kinda craft...'
'what do you mean??'
'a craft, made of material, not of this planet.'
'He's imbued with the ability to guess weights wrongly..'
'How so?'
'Because the gravitational pull of the planet, causes the men and women to be short and heavy..'
'...rather strange...'
'He's an abomination..'
'He must be destroyed..'
'He is but a homeless man'
'NO, he is an alien, not welcome in our solar system, or the billion others in this universe..'
'Then I say he must die...'
'We should vote, all in favour of this man's death... say aye'
AYE!
'Then so be it... we the citizens of the planet Earth, condemn this alien to death.'
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