the hamburger chronicles

Note to visitors from various websites which are linking here:

McSweeney's is a humor website, and I am a comedian. I no more wrote this article seriously than I think that the Irish should eat their children. Welcome to I am not serious.

Here are some emails I have received recently:

"Would not your experiment merely suggest that male psychology is more suggestable to a woman who is visable and in person than one who is hidden by a barrier? ... I wonder (if you're serious) how your experiment differs from a psychological experiment and enters the realm of the paranormal."

"Hats off to you and your vagina."

"I would like to volunteer my services in aiding you with your experiment."

"I WILL BUY YOU A HAMBURGER WITH FRIES."

I also received a strange message telling me to check my mailing address, and containing a shipping confirmation and order number for an unknown item. I have recently bought some items on eBay, so I wrote back and asked "What is this for? What did I buy?"

The sender wrote back to say "You haven't bought anything. Don't worry; all will become clear in time." I wonder if I'm getting ...


...a hamburger? On dry ice? A facsimile hamburger? A toy hamburger? A White Castle gift certificate?

Three Jens photo by Edwin Tse.