Times Square fashion watch
Dear tourists,
Thank you for visiting. I am writing to congratulate you for no longer doing so in brand-spankin'-new puffy white sneakers. You have now graduated to clunky plastic gardening clogs.
Strangely elderly.
Are you in nursing school?
You have got to be kidding me.
I grant that this is an improvement of at least 30%, in no small part because you are no longer sporting the conspicuous white athletic socks that accompanied your previous matching family set of Reeboks.
We inch towards grace, in baby steps, all our lives. I have faith in you. Keep up your progress towards non-stupid footwear.
Seriously, buy some fucking normal shoes.
Yours,
Jennifer Dziura
p.s. You do not have to wear le Manolos. You could try le Skechers.
Thank you for visiting. I am writing to congratulate you for no longer doing so in brand-spankin'-new puffy white sneakers. You have now graduated to clunky plastic gardening clogs.
Strangely elderly.
Are you in nursing school?
You have got to be kidding me.
I grant that this is an improvement of at least 30%, in no small part because you are no longer sporting the conspicuous white athletic socks that accompanied your previous matching family set of Reeboks.
We inch towards grace, in baby steps, all our lives. I have faith in you. Keep up your progress towards non-stupid footwear.
Seriously, buy some fucking normal shoes.
Yours,
Jennifer Dziura
p.s. You do not have to wear le Manolos. You could try le Skechers.
posted by JenIsFamous at 7/13/2006 11:02:00 PM
15 Comments:
these so called "comfortable footwear" aka plastic footwear is HORRIBLY UGLY!!! not just tourists are wearing them in New York City, but people who live here wear them... i see them everywhere... so i say okay people, there are plenty of comfortable footwear that is not HORRIBLY UGLY!!!
Ten minutes ago it was those goddamn Uggs. This is an improvement?
Help!
Crocs must die. I see them EVERYWHERE. They do not look good on ANYONE.
Oh, how can I agree with you more. This company recently had their IPO and it was one of the hottest of 2005. I personally declined the opportunity to invest on the basis of sartorial self respect. I caught a pair of teenagers walking up 5th avenue in matching red crox. The next thing I remember was waking up in the emergency room.
I almost bought a pair... I mean they are supposed to comfortable and all, and I was on vacation in Fla. And then it occurred to me that they're made of foam. My suspicion would be that they would simply disinegrate on NYC streets. They guy in the store was a bit confused when I asked how they would hold up in the city. "uh... they're for the beach. Or on a boat or something", was the response.
get a life people!
I wouldn't even be caught gardening in those things.
Lisa
I wish you'd try to break yourself out of the trap of consumerism and talk about something of real consequence. More people care about the next big brother episode than the fact that this country has polymorphed into the 4th reich. is there no hope?
They may be ugly but damn, are they comfortable. Think about it- comfort=fug. Birkenstocks? Fugly but comfy. Danskos? ditto.
Sketchers are not only uncomfortable but unless you are in middle school are completely age inappropriate.
I love the tie-dyed ones. Do they come in a 9 wide?
Thank you, thank you, for your eloquent trashing of the most vile footwear to hit streets of any sort - from Times Square to Park Slope - since the unforunate arrival of Birkenstocks a few decades back.
Desiring comfortable shoes is acceptable; desiring comfortable shoes at the expense of the rest of your outfit (and others' aesthetic experience) is a crime, punishable by...well...snarky commentaries such as this one.
Hmmmmmn. The THIRD Reich popularized jackboots, which is of course the inspiration for those god-awful Doc Martens every Goth chick seems to sport.
Good point, rickdog!
Oh, come now. Skechers are not age-inappropriate for adults. I'm not sure what model you were thinking of, but I was thinking of something like this as a suitable for the plastic clogs.
Sigh. Thanks for the wake-up call, 'rickdog.' And, to think, I was living such a meaningless life until you whined out some random buzzwords! Seriously, Fauntleroy, why are you bleating about 'consumerism' and the 'fourth reich' on a post about something as benign as shoes (even though they are the most god-awful shoes since your people's Birkenstocks)?! Know your audience, man. It's not everyone else's problem if you can't nut in your own girly hand every night until you've rid the world of all it's plights and suffering by way of one, poorly-placed comment on a comedian's blog.
Signed,
Your Mom Even Screens Your Calls
Ha! Someone used "nut" as a verb.
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