the girl who was Tuesday

By the way, in case anyone from the blog showed up to last Tuesday's show, I apologize for my nonpresence, although the lineup was spectacular and I'm sure it was a very good show without me. Here is the email I sent to the host and the other performers:

Dear MCC and lady-friends,

I was so very, very sad not to be able to perform in the show.

I was about to leave for the show when the torrential rain (which you undoubtedly experienced) began POURING THROUGH MY BEDROOM CEILING and ONTO MY COMPUTER and also THROUGH MY (LIT) LIGHT FIXTURE, which seems to me like an electrocution hazard even greater than when I use my 12-housepower dual V-8 engine vibrator in the bathtub.

After moving many of my possessions, putting down pots and pans and towels, and turning off the light, the globe part of which was filling with rainwater (and dead bugs), I called MCC, saying I would be late, and then left for the show, after which I waited for the 6 train ... for forty minutes.

And then I got on a bus instead.  The bus moved about thirty blocks in an hour.  That's when I gave up and cried wet tears onto my wet pretty dress that I had worn just for the occasion, because you always want to impress the boys who are a little light in the loafers.*

In all lamentation and sorrow,
Jen

* No, I didn't "out" anyone. Check out his blog.

Addendum: In response to the comment that I am an "awesome liar," I should like to elucidate that NONE of this is a lie. Except the part about the vibrator in the bathtub, which was really more of a humorous aside than part of the story. If I could get my Treo to sync with my computer, I would blog a photo of my bedroom ceiling's bubbling paint.