"You'd be surprised."

On Monday, 9/11, I flew from Memphis back home to New York, on Jetblue. I was at the check-in kiosk, confronted with a user interface that asked if I wanted to change my seat and then, due to a full flight, presented me with zero options from which to choose.

(Why even ask? Just tell me "This flight is full. You're stuck in 2D, bitch!" I can take it. Why present false options? What would you like for lunch, chicken or fish? We've got neither! This is a vegan flight!)

The guy at the kiosk next to me was having the same problem. He, however, rather than mentally composing a blog post, elected to ask a Jetblue employee about it. I glanced over at his monitor; he was in 2C. He was also Mike Birbiglia.

Jetblue's computer system kind of sucks, except for the part where they put all the comedians on a flight in their own row. It might be more useful if they did that with the doctors, though. This man's having a heart attack! Quick, get him to rows 13 through 15!

Maybe Jetblue is trying to quarantine the comedians to protect other passengers from unwanted Snakes on a Plane jokes.