"semi-nudity modeling"
Sometimes, friends and strangers send me Craigslist postings they think I might be interested in (see previous post). "Hair model needed." Okay. "Seeking humor writer for cable show." Great. "Strong woman needed to kick men in the balls." Not so much. Here's the latest:
sushi/food models for private eventWouldn't the "dancing/hip shakin" result in a loss of sushi? Are you supposed to come to the audition with "breast body painted & nicely decorated"? Also, I think it would be easier to mound sushi on top of some rock-solid breast implants than on actual breasts.Must be a mature/responsible beautiful vivacious woman who is comfortable with her well toned body to be used to exhibit various sushi/food items for corporate party event with private chef.
Must have clear skin complexion (no blemishes/break outs), minimal tattoos, no body piercings, prefer natural breasts vs. breast enhancements/implants, clean shavened, no body odor, no perfumes, not shy, friendly disposition, great sense of humour, can hold a conversation, be sexy, be an actress, a little dancin/hip shakin.
Semi-nude required but will be covered with banana leaves, please have your breast body painted & nicely decorated.
Must be comfortable & have had some experience with semi-nudity modeling.
posted by JenIsFamous at 1/18/2007 02:12:00 PM
5 Comments:
I saw something like this on a special on the boob tube... Guess it's fitting...
Here's what I don't fully understand:
In many high-end restaurants in New York, there is a policy (written or unwritten) that waitstaff will not wear midriff- or arm pit-revealing swag, will not sport excessive bling or pierces, will cover all tats, tie up hair or at least wear it in a ponytail, etc. All these proscriptions against what might otherwise be termed "lifestyle choices" are designed by management to make the guests feel as comfortable as possible with their own opulent lifestyles; each assumes that Yuppies don't like to feel that Sonny Barger is throwing some roadkill at them, so much as they want a cornfed Iowa farm girl with lots of teeth and little attitude, telling them about how the tilapia is served with Israeli couscous, or recommending a nice Riesling to help wash everything down. Thus, if the hostess looks like a Madam, cool, but waitstaff should not seem to be emulating hookers or resemble a casting call for "Apocalypto".
Well, fine.
Forgetting for a moment this bullshit about the banana leaves--Um, what on earth is appealing about being invited to chow down on bait, wrapped in seaweed, served over a coulis of crotch, I wonder. Shouldn't have body odor or run the risk of a pube turning up in anyone's sashimi? Well, duh!
Check, please! I've just lost my appetite.
Craigslist is classic. I had someone on there send me an ad that promised fast cash for vegetarians (such as myself). So I sent my info to the address. It turns out it was a fetish company who was seeking vegetarian women to urinate and deficate live for clients. I mean, I am desperate for cash but I seriously had to draw the line there.
(As usual) I'm confused. Not be overly personal here, but. . .does Vegan poo by any chance sing torch, tapdance, or do sleight-of-hand? Is new and improved "vegetarian urine", now with 30% more jicama, available in delightful pastel colors that would complement the guest bathrooms? (And if so, why didn't I know about this phenomenon sooner?)
On the other hand, if not, why pick on those who don't like to pick on animals?
Feh!
"Coulis of crotch" and "'vegetarian urine', now with 30% more jicama"--that's some seriously funny Vegan poo, bro! BTW, it is a little-known fact that if you buy doody a few Cosmos and get it drunk while out with your friends at karaoke, it will put Miss Sarah Vaughan to shame. (Why do you think they call it scat?) Unfortunately, it can't give you anything but love, though.
; )
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