Fitness Rant: "take the stairs," my ass
I am always annoyed when fitness publications suggest that one might lose weight by "taking the stairs at work."
First of all, a person looks very sanctimonious leaving his or her coworkers at the elevator and jaunting up four flights of stairs to the office. Also, such activity tends to spill one's coffee.
But more importantly, if I am in a workplace, I am very likely
I am similarly peeved by the suggestion that you "park your car in the back of the lot and walk to the store."
Suspending for a moment the fact that New Yorkers don't have cars (or parking lots), there is also the fact that, unless I just came from the gym, I'm probably not wearing my gym shoes. And if I just came from the gym, I think a walk across the parking lot would provide negligible additional value. Does someone think that clicking across a Costco parking lot in my strappy sandals is a useful form of cardiovascular conditioning? Is this a plot by podiatrists? Are these articles all written by sweaty men who dress like slobs?
Seriously, go do some real exercise, then take a damn shower.
p.s. No one ever lost weight vacuuming or fornicating, despite the little infographics in magazines telling you how many calories you burn doing these activities. Your "resting metabolic rate" actually assumes that you'll be conducting normal life activities throughout your day. You don't get "credit" for absolutely every time you move a limb. Seriously, go do some real exercise (then take a damn shower).
p.p.s. If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy this classic: Shape magazine wants us to get gym-raped
First of all, a person looks very sanctimonious leaving his or her coworkers at the elevator and jaunting up four flights of stairs to the office. Also, such activity tends to spill one's coffee. But more importantly, if I am in a workplace, I am very likely
- not wearing my Reeboks, because they don't go well with pinstripe
- not wanting to be sweaty, which is also unbecoming with pinstripe
Consider developing a walking map highlighting a few different routes/trails in and around your facility, in distances varying from .5 miles total trip to 2+ miles total trip. Display and distribute maps in receptionist/lobby areas and other central locations. Staff can enjoy a walk during breaks and/or lunch periods.A walking trail ... around the office! Try to imagine a koi pond or wooded glen as you hoof it through Human Resources!
I am similarly peeved by the suggestion that you "park your car in the back of the lot and walk to the store."
Suspending for a moment the fact that New Yorkers don't have cars (or parking lots), there is also the fact that, unless I just came from the gym, I'm probably not wearing my gym shoes. And if I just came from the gym, I think a walk across the parking lot would provide negligible additional value. Does someone think that clicking across a Costco parking lot in my strappy sandals is a useful form of cardiovascular conditioning? Is this a plot by podiatrists? Are these articles all written by sweaty men who dress like slobs?
Seriously, go do some real exercise, then take a damn shower.
p.s. No one ever lost weight vacuuming or fornicating, despite the little infographics in magazines telling you how many calories you burn doing these activities. Your "resting metabolic rate" actually assumes that you'll be conducting normal life activities throughout your day. You don't get "credit" for absolutely every time you move a limb. Seriously, go do some real exercise (then take a damn shower).
p.p.s. If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy this classic: Shape magazine wants us to get gym-raped
Labels: fitness
posted by JenIsFamous at 4/18/2007 08:05:00 PM
3 Comments:
There are few things worse than being trapped near a smelly person. Now some people will give of an odor through no fault of their own. Perhaps they are bin men (refuse collectors in today's PC society) or have a job in construction that involves intense physical labour well away from showers or baths. I don't know what smelly people do for a living because I try to avoid them. I'm just saying you shouldn't judge them if it's part of their job. Although you have to wonder what sort of person would take a job that makes them pong?
I'm getting off topic. What we should do is to ostracise people who insist of inflicted their body odor on us. I mean to stink is one thing but to stink deliberately is an entirely different thing that should not be encouraged.
I propose building a wall around Kentucky if they insist on generating all this pong. We'll need gas masks, towers and very probably some sort of water power riot hose. It's the responsible thing to do.
Amen, Sister! Oh man this post is hilarious - I am a personal trainer and always find myself choking that piece of advice out not really believing it myself.
What is interesting is the person always gives me the 'nod' without making eye contact, as if to say "oh come on now be realistic here! Why dont you just ask me to live in a small cave with nothing to eat from but juniper bushes..."
I wonder how many people actually have taken the stairs after reading this drivel - they probably took it once, got trapped by the auto-lock doors and were found decomposing under the stairs weeks later.
You rock! Funny and truthful! I am going to add you to my humble blogroll. Do you mind if I do?
Jamie Atlas
http://jamieatlas.wordpress.com
While I agree that formal exercise is necessary. I also think we are not active enough in our daily lives. What's wrong with getting people to walk a bit more or take the stairs. Advocating more activity is a good thing!
Here's another article on stair training if you dare! And no it's not just about walking them :)
Enjoy :)
http://www.ultimatestairexercises.com/freereport.zip
Virgil Aponte
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