Beyonce is a Dumbass, Part II

Last week, (recurring friend-character) Megan and I celebrated her birthday at Kellogg's Diner when, over the buzz of middle-aged Eastern European women calling for toast, came the opening lines of Beyonce's "Irreplaceable."


To the left, to the left...
"WHAT ON EARTH IS TO THE LEFT?" asked Megan, fair to bursting with an insatiable curiosity for a precise understanding of contemporary R&B lyricism.

"Everything some guy owns is in a box to the left," I replied. "Because he shouldn't get to thinking he's irreplaceable."

"I was really wondering about that! Because it sounds like a dance, but she never goes to the right, to the right."

"So true."

Now, I'd like to hark back to August 2006, when I blogged about the song "Can't Let You Go," by Fabolous. I particularly admired this rhyme:

She won't care if I'm a platinum rapper
If she catch me with an empty Magnum wrapper.

"Rapper" and "wrapper"! It first sounds like kind of a cheap non-rhyme, until you realize they are two different words with two different meanings, which makes me like this off-rhyme a great deal. Now, back to Beyonce:

I could have another you in a minute
Matter 'fact, he'll be here any minute.

Um ... "minute" and "minute"? Really?

(For previous "Beyonce is a dumbass" post, go here).