god is not great on the 1 train
Almost everyone is annoyed by subway preachers. The vast majority of subway preachers are intrusive and disruptive, spew logical fallacies, and annoy the shit out of everyone (even the religious, who are just being made to look ridiculous).
A gay acquaintance of mine who is also involved in theater was once on a subway when a preacher started saying something about gay people going to hell, and the friend said "Sir, if you don't stop that, I'm going to break out in show tunes." The preacher amped up his anti-gay screed -- and was greeted by a loud, on-key showtunes performance that lasted several stops, as long as the preaching. (If only I knew the playlist!)
Yesterday I was on the train reading Christopher Hitchens' god is Not Great when some singing panhandlers introduced themselves as "God's Grace." I tilted my book up so the cover was visible. A business dude seemed to notice and smile.
Anyway, I was thinking about something that might be helpful in case of further encounters with the really annoying brand of subway preacher (not a capella groups) -- the loud, yelling kind who keep trying to make eye contact and ask questions, preventing anyone on the train from conversing or reading, and who make people leave the subway car and move into other cars.
I'd like to get some kind of recording device that broadcasts REALLY LOUDLY, and prerecord a message on it, preferably in a male voice to add a little misdirection, and then I could just reach into my purse and set the device off, and a booming voice would say something like "HELLO! THIS IS THE VOICE OF SECULAR HUMANISM, HERE TO SHARE A SOME INFORMATION ABOUT THE ENLIGHTENMENT."
Benjamin Franklin appears in the French Court during the Revolution.
He knew what he was doing. After the Enlightenment, we'll do Nietzsche!
A gay acquaintance of mine who is also involved in theater was once on a subway when a preacher started saying something about gay people going to hell, and the friend said "Sir, if you don't stop that, I'm going to break out in show tunes." The preacher amped up his anti-gay screed -- and was greeted by a loud, on-key showtunes performance that lasted several stops, as long as the preaching. (If only I knew the playlist!)
Yesterday I was on the train reading Christopher Hitchens' god is Not Great when some singing panhandlers introduced themselves as "God's Grace." I tilted my book up so the cover was visible. A business dude seemed to notice and smile.Anyway, I was thinking about something that might be helpful in case of further encounters with the really annoying brand of subway preacher (not a capella groups) -- the loud, yelling kind who keep trying to make eye contact and ask questions, preventing anyone on the train from conversing or reading, and who make people leave the subway car and move into other cars.
I'd like to get some kind of recording device that broadcasts REALLY LOUDLY, and prerecord a message on it, preferably in a male voice to add a little misdirection, and then I could just reach into my purse and set the device off, and a booming voice would say something like "HELLO! THIS IS THE VOICE OF SECULAR HUMANISM, HERE TO SHARE A SOME INFORMATION ABOUT THE ENLIGHTENMENT."
He knew what he was doing. After the Enlightenment, we'll do Nietzsche!
posted by JenIsFamous at 8/08/2007 11:52:00 AM
2 Comments:
To be fair it isn't just the religious who are irritating on (in?) subways. Anyone who tries to make eye contact and ask questions is really begging to be shot. It's veiled but the request is definitely there.
True! But a booming, recorded message that says "WE ARE NOT GIVING YOU ANY MONEY" doesn't have the same ring of righteousness to me.
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