back in NY: low-carb bagels and two-day rentals ... aren't
Yesterday I stepped into the bagel shop in Queens from which I sometimes purchase egg sandwiches and wraps. I gravitated towards the "low-carb bagels," pleased to see that there were two left so late in the day.
The guy behind the counter hurries over: "Hello, beautiful, long time since you come in."
"I've been meaning to ask you," I say, "how do you make a low-carb bagel?"
He looks uncomfortable. "Well, you know ... it's all flour. Bagels are from flour, you know?"
"So it's the same as a regular bagel?"
"Well, yes... I mean, how would you change it?"
"Well, sometimes stuff like that is made from soy flour or something."
He shrugs. "Nope. And let me tell you -- in the morning we make one big tuna salad. Half goes in the case labeled 'tuna' and half in the one labeled 'low-fat tuna.'"
I order egg whites and tomato on whole-wheat.
* * *
Later that night I go to Blockbuster and sign up for a membership, the conventional $4.59 per movie kind, so I can rent season two of "The Office." It's a two-day rental. "What time is it due?" I ask.
"Doesn't matter. Well, midnight, actually."
"Okay."
(whispering) "But you have a seven-day grace period! You didn't get that from me."
* * *
Let's review: Lowfat tuna on a low-carb bagel will make you fat. Two-day rentals are really nine-day rentals. Capitalism continues unfettered. Class dismissed.
The guy behind the counter hurries over: "Hello, beautiful, long time since you come in."
"I've been meaning to ask you," I say, "how do you make a low-carb bagel?"
He looks uncomfortable. "Well, you know ... it's all flour. Bagels are from flour, you know?"
"So it's the same as a regular bagel?"
"Well, yes... I mean, how would you change it?"
"Well, sometimes stuff like that is made from soy flour or something."
He shrugs. "Nope. And let me tell you -- in the morning we make one big tuna salad. Half goes in the case labeled 'tuna' and half in the one labeled 'low-fat tuna.'"
I order egg whites and tomato on whole-wheat.
Later that night I go to Blockbuster and sign up for a membership, the conventional $4.59 per movie kind, so I can rent season two of "The Office." It's a two-day rental. "What time is it due?" I ask.
"Doesn't matter. Well, midnight, actually."
"Okay."
(whispering) "But you have a seven-day grace period! You didn't get that from me."
Let's review: Lowfat tuna on a low-carb bagel will make you fat. Two-day rentals are really nine-day rentals. Capitalism continues unfettered. Class dismissed.
posted by JenIsFamous at 9/11/2007 04:01:00 PM
1 Comments:
We rented both DVDs of Weeds, Season Two last weekend. One was due in a week and the other in 24-hours, but the clerk shrugged and said, "You get 7 days before there's a late fee."
Well nevermind then!
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