what happens when you name your little girl after her grandmother and she grows up hot

At a newsstand on 34th St., I saw the newest edition of Smooth magazine, a black men's monthly featuring scantily-clad, callipygian ladies. And then I laughed, because the cover bore the least sexy headline I have ever seen on a men's magazine:

ESTHER RETIRES!

Sizzle! Doesn't that sound like a headline more appropriate for, say, Nursing Homes Magazine?



Esther Baxter is certainly very attractive. But "retire" is not a sexy verb.

"Can I have some Medicare now?"