why I am barely listening to you

I seem to have my very first ear infection -- in my late freaking twenties!

Having never had an ear infection as a child, when I woke up this morning deaf in one ear, I assumed it was related to the mild hangover I was experiencing as a result of going back for seconds on the vodka-spiked protein shake I was drinking last night.

But my mini-hangover was gone with my first glass of water and mug of coffee, yet my ear felt like it was full of water. I kept messing with it. I took a nap, hoping it would magically fix itself. I was on the phone with my brother and, without thinking about it, switched the phone to my weird-feeling ear, and my cell reception immediately went bad -- my brother sounded like the teacher from Charlie Brown. I missed everything he said. Then I realized that it probably wasn't the phone.

"Brian!" I said, "Say something, like two sentences!" I put the phone back on my half-deaf side, and sure enough -- Charlie Brown's teacher. When I explained, Brian said that that did sound like an ear infection, and suggested I get that looked at right away.

I almost never see doctors, so tomorrow I'm going to track one down at my favorite walk-in medical provider. Fun! I feel like I'm five.

I am glad this graphic I found on the internet reassures me with the fact that adult women can also get ear infections. She has nice eyebrows. Or, at least, eyebrow.

Update: I do not have an ear infection. Seriously, I found a late-night clinic. I have nerve damage. Which one of you hit me in the head, causing me to forget that you hit me in the head?

Further Update: The otolaryngologist says random virii cause this all the time. I'm better now.