the human stain of the MTA

September 29, 2004

I. A few days ago, I was crocheting on the subway, and the older lady near me asked what I was making, and I said it was a scarf, and that I only know how to make scarves. And she insisted that I get a crocheting book and follow the patterns and it’s not that hard, and she went on to tell me she had learned some patterns from a book and had made eight of “these things … on tables … with pineapples on them.”

“Placemats?” I said.

Yes, she agreed. She was depressed because she had broken up with her boyfriend, so she just kept making placemats.

II. Today on the platform at 125th St, an older man approached me and politely said “Excuse me.” He looked reasonably well-kempt, and I thought he was going to ask about where the train went. Instead, he said “You’re so beautiful. Such a beautiful lady.” I thanked him and looked away, and shifted my body position to indicate that the conversation was over. “Excuse me,” he said. Oh, I’m thinking — that was just a prelude to asking directions. I turn back. “You’re such a beautiful lady” he says again. And then about five more times. And then he grabs my hand and asks for some change.

On the train, a passenger standing in front of me held something out at eye-level — an open bottle of hand sanitizer. She told me that man was crazy, and I shouldn’t be so trusting.

I cupped my hands and she squirted sanitizer into them.

III. I always want to do pullups on that bar that runs down the middle of the train. One late night, I was in a car populated only by me and several MTA employees in jumpsuits. I was staring at the bar so intently that one of the workers asked if I saw something funny, and I explained about the pullups, and he suggested I go ahead. So, with everyone watching, I got up, did a pullup — and promptly hit my head on the top of the car.

In order to save face, I did a couple more pullups, sat down, and privately lamented my new headache.

Posted by jen | Filed Under Jen says 

Comments

2 Responses to “the human stain of the MTA”

  1. Anonymous on September 29th, 2004 8:03 pm

    You wrote: I cupped my hands and she squirted sanitizer into them.Apparently you didn’t learn your lesson about trusting random people who talk to you on the MTA. But I guess there are worse things a person could have squirted into your hands. :-)

    -M

  2. Lisa Chau on October 1st, 2004 7:01 pm

    “On the train, a passenger standing in front of me held something out at eye-level — an open bottle of hand sanitizer” & it wasn’t *ME* ?

    Where is this person?? She’s my soulmate!!

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