Todd can read in a Latvian accent

January 7, 2005

Last night I read my piece “Headless” (off my CD) at an Opium Magazine event at the Cornelia St. Cafe. The stars of the event were Susan Henderson and Todd Zuniga, who rarely publishes his work in his own magazine, but still, you can visit Opium here.

Yesterday, I received a telemarketing call from a confused woman who asked me “Do you speak Hispanic?”

Finally, here on the right is an unflattering but funny photo from my performance at Galapagos’ “The Smut Show” in Williamsburg on Monday.

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no problem, i live in an action film

January 5, 2005

Today, I had coffee with a writer for the Onion, and then, in an unrelated incident, learned from a neighbor that the former occupants of my apartment (as in, before I moved in) were (female) strippers.

This may be the most glamorous day ever. I feel I have been touched by fame and silicone.

Also, spelling bee co-emcee Bobby Blue has challenged me to write lyrics for a song about spelling, to which he would then write the music. I am also in the middle of no less than three books (by “in the middle” I mean “I have this idea I keep telling people about”), and have been asked to write a short screenplay for an action-film festival.

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let’s hope I don’t get chased by bears

January 3, 2005

Today, for the first time in my life, I ran an entire mile without stopping. In eleven minutes and thirty-two seconds.

I know it’s less than exemplary that it’s taken me so long to do it — at one point in college, I was working out five times a week, but I was lifting weights and boxing, not doing cardio. I could deadlift 145 lbs. but couldn’t run around the block. When I was boxing, three three-minute rounds would leave me practically hyperventilating.

I have great biceps, but, it seems, lungs the size of lentils.

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clenching your fist for the ones like us

January 3, 2005

This holiday season, I made a Leonard Cohen mix CD for a friend who had never, to his knowledge, heard a Leonard Cohen song.

When he saw the title “Chelsea Hotel #2″, he asked whether there had been a #1, which prompted me to do some digging.

In the Leonard’s Greatest Hits (1997) album notes he says: “I wrote this for an American singer who died a while ago. She used to stay at the Chelsea, too. I began it at a bar in a Polynesian restaurant in Miami in 1971 and finished it in Asmara, Ethiopia just before the throne was overturned. Ron Cornelius helped me with a chord change in an earlier version.”

In 1994, during a BBC radio interview, Cohen apologized for ever linking Janis Joplin’s name to this song. He referred to it as: “the sole indiscretion in my professional life.”

Apparently, there are lyrics to a sort-of Chelsea Hotel #1 floating around on the internet, but it’s not a different song, it’s just a not-as-good first draft. So just stick to hearing Leonard the way he wants you to hear him.

Obey Leonard Cohen!

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