wet and loquacious

September 30, 2005

For your edification: Amazon sells a Top 100 SAT Words Shower Curtain.

The product description reads:

A simple, effective, and stress free learning tool for your children taking the SATs, allowing them to learn the top 100 most common SAT vocabulary words while taking a shower. Increase vocabulary and help them become a better reader, writer and speller.

Bonus points for anyone who can identify the two or more grammar errors that appear in this passage.

Update: Diopter said in the comments that “a better reader, writer and speller” should be “better readers, writers and spellers.” True, true. But there is another version of the same error also contained in the passage. To wit:

“…allowing them to learn … while taking a shower.”

Just as the first error implies that all the children will become a single reader, writer, and speller, this error implies that all of the children will be taking a single shower. And not just in the sense that the children must shower incestuously, but also in the sense that each child may use the shower curtain during only a single shower; no matter how much the siblings enjoy showering together, they may not repeat the experience, regardless of the merits of improving one’s SAT score.

I love my job.

Jen

Posted by jen | Filed Under SAT 

Comments

6 Responses to “wet and loquacious”

  1. diopter on October 1st, 2005 1:22 pm

    Ok, here goes:

    1. “stress free” should be hyphenated.

    2. “help them become a better reader, writer and speller” should be “help them become better readers, writers and spellers.”

    Phew.

  2. Shaun Eli on October 1st, 2005 4:10 pm

    Sure, take the easy ones. I’d add that “increase vocabulary” should be “improve their vocabularies” and “for your children taking the SATs” should probably be “for your children who will be taking the SATs” and “allowing them to learn” is awkward. Enabling would be a better word to use.

    Besides, everyone knows that toasters are way smarter than shower curtains. My bread machine is working on her second master’s degree.

  3. diopter on October 1st, 2005 6:02 pm

    Ok, yes, I did take the obvious ones. But I was in a fit of early-morning insomnia, I swear! Feel free to post something else and I’ll be more than thrilled to flex my Grammar Smitty muscles, heh.

  4. Shaun Eli on October 1st, 2005 9:26 pm

    Re: Singular vs. plural shower… Maybe the shower curtain is made of paper, and it will last only one shower.

  5. EL A. on October 5th, 2005 7:23 pm

    You have to love the subtleties (and inconsistancies) of the English language.

    I remember a professor telling me that in Spanish-speaking countries they don’t have spelling tests…there’s no need…since you pronounce every letter in a word then if you can say it, by all rights, you should–in theory (and maybe this is giving too much cred to the human race)–be able to spell it.

  6. Sasha on January 21st, 2006 8:06 am

    My daughter loves the curtain. We have to give the high school student some credit for creating it even with the errors. Bye now!

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