trinkets and baubles for sale

October 31, 2005

Design by Molly Crabapple, Jen-head by John Leavitt.

“Grammatically Correct Comedy” magnet
$3.99, click to buy

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new review on sarcaticsex.com (for those of you not at work right now)

October 31, 2005

An all-new space-age review is up on the Sarcastic Sex Toy Blog!

Enjoy the 5x Giga Power Space Explorer Chrome Bullet Vibe. Or not.

5x what? Giga what? You’ll have to get around your company’s internet security system to find out.

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two spelling bee items

October 31, 2005

Adriana Vink is looking forward to competing in the bee despite being less than a month old. Better study up with that alphabet blanket … for the next 20 years and eleven months!

Good Morning America got back to me — they are still filming (presumably filming other spelling bees) and will air the spot in late November.

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those Brits, with their butter and their jesting!

October 31, 2005

I had “bread and butter pudding” for dessert at Tea & Sympathy, the British restaurant in Greenwich Village. Like a heart attack in a bowl! Bread pudding with raisins drowned in an entire cereal-bowl full of buttery custard sauce!

I found a recipe here.

Bizarrely, I also found a comedy article about bread and butter pudding, in which probably half of the humor is incomprehensible to Americans, and the rest of sort of cross-cultural, except for being a five-webpage-long fake recipe.

Splash-drop three high-tablespoons of cognac into a handmade mixing-bowl. Applique the currants. Leave them in there for three to six months to make sure they’re completely exasperated. Meanwhile, slice your loaf thinly and let the slices breathe. We put them in a basket by the tennis court. For the custard, hob-heat your milk soupcons till they enquire. Wood-blend fifty grams of organic caster sugar. We wood-blend to Purcell. Though long-dead, his music soothes and thrills in just the right proportions. Leak approximately 2.5 millilitres of Madagascan vanilla essence. It’s easily available in all good foodshops in Madagascar. Pour in the beaten eggs and fluff diplomatically till the custard’s thoroughly relaxed.

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this is pretty much why I moved to New York

October 30, 2005

Last night I attended Viva Van Story’s rockabilly photo exhibit at CB’s Gallery in the presence of the delicious Lady E, Miss Molly Crabapple (who, regrettably, split before I remembered the photographic capabilities of my Treo), illustrator John Leavitt (designer of my new CD cover), Veronica Varlow of Dangerdame, The World Famous *BOB*, Juline of The Whores, and a handful of friends from college I wasn’t expecting to run into. I saw plenty of tattoos, Bettie Page and Marilyn lookalikes, and boys with clever hair.

some serious burlesque boobs!

Lady E, looking blurry but swank, swank but blurry

I’m getting nose-kissed by Veronica Varlow!

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and now, for a moment, my blog becomes highly prosaic

October 29, 2005

My Treo takes pictures! I had nothing unusual take a picture of, so here’s me and Cow:

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maybe a rumor, maybe not

October 29, 2005

Fresh from the newswire:

“Did you know that Bill Maher kind of mentioned your spelling bee on his HBO show???”

Details forthcoming.

Update from friend:

Bill Maher has this show on HBO, and the end of every show (a highlight of the show) he has these things called ‘new rules’… where he has humorous insights on news of the day.. and the LAST new rule, was something like.. NEW RULE.. ADULTS MUST STOP ACTING LIKE CHILDREN.. and then he went off on a tangent on how adults (I guess around our generation) spend their time doing childish things like playing video games, and Halloween, etc.. and he says.. I MEAN TODAY YOU EVEN GO TO SPELLING BEES IN BARS……..

Now there’s absolutely no way someone on his writing staff didn’t read the NY Times article to get that part in there.

I concur! Bill Maher’s writing staff is vaguely aware of my presence!

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geeking out in my "QT3.14159" t-shirt

October 29, 2005

You can count in base 12 on your knuckles! What geekariffic joy! From A-Word-a-Day:

nychthemeron (nik-THEM-er-on) noun

A full period of a day and night: 24 hours.

[From Greek, a combination of nykt- (night) and hemera (day).]

Ever wondered why day and night were divided into 12 hours? The number 12 is not as random as it sounds. There are 12 moons in a year. The number 12 is easy to divide into halves, thirds, and quarters. Also, some cultures counted in base 12: three joints on each finger (thumb as the counter).

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now that I’ve said this, Apple wants me to switch back

October 29, 2005

My computer has only two USB ports, yet I have a printer, an external drive, a Treo, and an iPod that all want to be in them at once. It’s like a gangbang porn around my iBook, wherein my iBook is the girl who called for a dozen pizzas (or a dozen plumbers?), and all the technological devices have to wait around for their turns.