racist dogs

May 31, 2006

My brother and his girlfriend adopted a dog, but their attempt was ill-fated. He writes:

So we are definitely “voting the dog out of the apartment” this week. While he is fun when he wants to be, he is also a freakin jerk a good portion of the time. He doesn’t listen almost at all. He steals. He barks to ridiculous extents. He whines like a bitch. He tries to bite us sometimes (not hard but it still sucks). And he also tries to attack people of… how should I put this… colorful ethnic backgrounds. So yeah, Joey the dog turned out to be a big fat racist pain in the ass. It’s really upsetting too. I had high hopes for this dog. He’s such a smart dog. Unfortunately, he chooses to use his intelligence not for good, but instead for evil. Stupid dog.

I inquired about the dog’s racism: does he discriminate based on skin tone alone — barking louder in proportion to the darkness of the skin tone? Or is racist against one variety of non-white people exclusively? “How about tiny Japanese women?” I asked.  ”Could you trick him with a tanned Caucasian, or an albino African-American?”

He replies: “Well so far we have found aversions to Mexican painters, a small black girl, and a very non-threatening Indian man. We do have a good sampling here in the DC area. He has yet to bump into any Asians though. I’m sure it is only a matter of time.”

That dog’s gotta go. I mean, I figured that if it were just one demographic — for instance, tiny Japanese women– then perhaps the dog was once beaten by a tiny Japanese woman and is thus reacting in a rationally protective manner. But I doubt this dog has experienced abuse at the hands of Mexican painters, a small black girl, and a very non-threatening Indian man.

How does a dog go so wrong?

Not that racist dogs weren’t said to have been trained by police during the ’60s. In lighter New Zealand faux-news, racist dog spoils dinner party.

I’m curious — do dogs pick up racism from their (in this case, previous) owners, or might some dogs have a natural predilection to attack anyone who is ethnically dissimilar to their owners in an attempt to “protect” them? If the latter case, would Joey the Dog, if then adopted by a non-white person, begin to attack white people in an attempt to protect the new owner? Is this an entrenched racism, like that of humans, or might is be a malleable sort of xenophobia?

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an exclusive

May 31, 2006

What comedians read on the road, from Carolyn Castiglia.

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"gravitas" has been one of my favorite words since high school

May 31, 2006

This article discusses how the term “perky” has been typically applied to women only, and “grativas” to men only

There may be such a thing as a perky man (Richard Simmons comes to mind), but in reality, “perky” belongs in the realm of adjectives used to modify women. Its antonym, “gravitas,” is presumed to apply to men only. ” ‘Gravitas’ is a code word,” according to Connie Chung. Chung, who co-anchored the “CBS Evening News” with Dan Rather in the mid-1990s, told Newsweek for its April 17 cover story that people who say Couric lacks gravitas are implicitly endorsing a sexist point of view. “It has an offensive, chauvinistic connotation that should not be applied to any newswoman today.”

But Camille Paglia, a feminist who is often at odds with the feminist establishment, said many women possess gravitas, a term that was applied to Roman senators of antiquity who were expected to demonstrate leadership and sobriety. She would exclude Couric but include Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., the novelist Toni Morrison, and the late writers Ayn Rand, Lillian Hellman and Simone de Beauvoir. “Women, if they ever expect to ascend to the presidency and be commander in chief, had better learn what ‘gravitas’ is and stop blowing it off as some sort of backlash word,” she said.

Thank you, Camille. I don’t think I tell her that enough.

Of course women can fucking have gravitas. Madeline Albright, anyone?

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my grandfather used to send me his copies of Skeptical Inquirer when I was twelve

May 31, 2006

I am delighted to find a thorough scientific investigation of the topic Can We Tell When Someone Is Staring At Us?

Because of the possibility that subjects, when cognitively focused on an important activity-like eating or drinking, or reading and studying, or problem solving-would not or could not attend to weaker or more subtle stimulation from psi or other paranormal sources such as “feelings of being stared at,” a second study was carried out. If subjects were told that over a fixed time-period they would be stared at on a number of separate occasions, they might well be able to detect when they are being observed. Since they are focused on the problem of “being stared at” rather than competing activities their ability to detect stares should be maximized.

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Funny Bone photos

May 31, 2006

This is me on stage at the Boise Funny Bone, looking somewhat troubled.This is me with Funny Bone manager Brian, feature act Tracey Ashley, and ten-year-old comic Trevor Hattabaugh (he’s drinking root beer). It’s awesome to be pushing thirty and find someone who’s balancing your job with a demanding sixth-grade courseload.

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a conundrum

May 31, 2006

An outfit that is entirely appropriate for a warm night out in the East Village is completely inappropriate on the walk through East Harlem to the subway.

Now that I think about it, though, a little chocolate with my vanilla sounds nice, thank you for offering.

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we went to college for this?

May 29, 2006

This is the back of my iPod, as first presented in this post:

Brian Van, remembering my Magritte jest*, sent this.

*S.M., however, pointed out that “Ceci n’est pas une iPod” loses a bit of its verve when printed on an actual iPod, rather than a representation of one. However, on the blog, that problem is solved!

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posty blog post bloggity post

May 29, 2006

I’m at the Boise airport, where there’s free WiFi, McDonald’s serves Seattle’s Best coffee, and a woman traversing terminal B just shouted “Hey, I saw your show last night, good job!”

I’ll be at the spelling bee tonight. You know, in case you want to stalk me.

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dear world

May 28, 2006

I love the forward-post-to-a-friend feature on Craigslist. For instance, if I see a posting that says “Six-foot-tall black actress needed for comedic short film,” I could click on “forward to a friend” and send the posting to a friend who meets that description.

However, if you don’t quite want that person to know you’re the one who sent the posting, you can simply put the recipient’s address as both sender and recipient, and the recipient receives an email ostensibly from herself, to herself.

This gets weird when you start getting Craigslist postings and you don’t know whom they’re from. For instance, if you wanted to send someone a posting that said “scary, ugly type needed for gangster role” without that person knowing you thought they were ugly, you might send such a thing anonymously.

Yeah … so, every once in awhile, someone forwards me a Craigslist posting for “Strong women needed for ball-crushing video.”

Thanks.

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Boise blues

May 27, 2006

I am currently emceeing at the Boise Funny Bone, right across the street from…

Steven Segal’s blues band.


He’s … uh … not drawing well.

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