my celebrity matches

June 4, 2006

I have been amusing myself a great deal with myheritage.com, a website on which one can upload a photo of oneself and see what celebrities one resembles.

I shall now take you on a photo tour of my results.

The first photo of myself that I uploaded yielded matches to a great number of Asian women, which I found curious. Hasn’t anyone seen my seriously sharp and pointy nose?


I tried another photo, and again, more Asian women…



…but also Shannen Doherty, who is the celebrity I’ve most often been said to look like, even though in this photo of her, the weird off-centeredness of her features is really obvious (i.e., bitch is busted):


…and, more disturbingly, Joan Crawford! (Side note: Once, as a teenager, I sarcastically called my mother “mommy dearest” and couldn’t understand why she got so mad. I had never heard of the movie).


So I tried another photo, and was told I look like Drew Barrymore…


…when she was five! And also, mysteriously…


Missy Elliott!

Kathy Bates!

And … Alfred Hitchcock? And here I was thinking I was good for another ten years, then I might spring for, say, microdermabrasion or some lip collagen. But, if this is it, I give up.

So, I tried again with one more photo, and got some more promising results:


My legs are securely crossed in this photo, I assure you.


I think Josephine Baker and I share a love of eye makeup more than anything, but okay.


And finally — this, I think, is rather inspired. Bebe Neuwirth! Nice.

Update: Jenisfamous comes clean

Posted by jen | Filed Under celebrities 

Comments

8 Responses to “my celebrity matches”

  1. Matt Penn on June 4th, 2006 10:58 pm

    The Josephine Baker thing is apparently some bug in the beta version that’s in the process of being fixed. Following your lead, I uploaded a pic of my genitalia and in addition to Eeyore, Seabiscuit, and my friend Flicka, like you also got Josephine Baker. From what I’ve been told, everyone does.

    As for Hitch, try uploading a topless photo instead. Fun fact: Alfred Hitchcock was born without nipples!

  2. Shaun Eli on June 5th, 2006 2:36 am

    Okay, Jen, so I did it, and here’s what I got:

    Andrew Lloyd Webber
    Sting
    two people I’ve never heard of
    Jet Li
    more people I’ve never heard of
    Carson Daly
    George Clooney

    Which amazes me because people who meet me who think I remind them of someone pretty much always say it’s one of three (two, really) people:
    Larry Miller (comedian)
    Larry David (comedian)
    and George Costanza (not Jason Alexander who played the part, they always say George Costanza)– a character modelled after Larry David.

    I don’t think I look like any of them (although I won’t argue with people who say I look like George Clooney, even though I disagree).

    If you want to see the photo I uploaded, it’s on my website (www.BrainChampagne.com).

    And Jen, it might be the coloring of your photo that the site finds resenbles Asians– dark hair and light skin.

  3. Pele Zombie on June 5th, 2006 4:36 pm

    Alfie Hitchcock had no nipples? then how does he know where to put the clamps???

    I ended up with a 71% match with a young Pele, the awesome Brazilian football legend. I also had Jet Li and Lucy Liu.

    I don’t think you’re going to look exactly like your matches. The results just look for close face ratios.

    And Jen, I always thought you looked Chinese.

  4. Carolyn on June 5th, 2006 10:29 pm

    I think you look the most like Missy Elliot. Especially in the picture where you’re eating watermelon.

  5. JenIsFamous on June 6th, 2006 2:54 am

    Oh no you didn’t!

  6. Katie on June 21st, 2006 3:40 am

    Yes, okay, so I tried this little myheritage thing, and here’s what I got:

    Catherine Devenue
    Jayne Mansfield
    Fabio Cannavaro
    Anastacia Mysinka
    Tarja Turunen (?)
    Anthony Keidis
    Three people I didn’t know…

    Hmmmm…

    Tried a different photo, got:

    Laura Dern (at a whopping 72%)
    Sarah Jessica Parker
    Lisa Kudrow
    ANGELINA JOLIE (!!!!!!!!)
    Andee McDowell
    Strom Thurmond (huh?!?)
    Paris Hilton (let me just crawl into a corner and die now…)

    Angelina Jolie…damn…at 60% too, not bad, if I do say so myself…I do where a lot of black tank tops and want to go to Africa…hmmm…

    I can actually see the Catherine Devenue and Laura Dern..maybe a little bit of the Sarah Jessica on a really good day, but the rest? Not so much…

    It did say Nicole looks like Kelly Clarkson and Lindsey Lohan. That made me laugh. Quite a bit.

  7. B on June 18th, 2007 3:43 am

    I can’t believe there wasn’t one pee wee hermann :)

  8. In which I coin the adjective “non-booty-advertising” | Jen Is Famous on June 17th, 2008 6:43 am

    […] fear this post might exacerbate suspicions of a strange relationship I may or may not have with Asian people. Oh, and also this.p.s. - Can you tell I write the post titles after I write the […]

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