welcome to my garden of comic delights (okay, dildo jokes)

August 31, 2006

Dear Bob and Tom listeners:

Thanks for visiting! Here are some of my favorite funny posts on this blog:

Here are some comedy samples. Also, here is that vagina article on McSweeney’s. Read July’s blog posts for some of the responses to the vagina article.

And, of course, here’s The Sarcastic Sex Toy Blog (NOT safe for work!)

xo,
Jen

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Plan B-licious!

August 31, 2006

The morning-after pill will now be available over the counter. That’s a start, but I think we should start solving our nation’s social problems by putting that shit in school lunches.

Maybe a little
morning-after cobbler?

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p-r-e-s-s

August 30, 2006

The spelling bee is on the Mental Floss blog!

The bee is also on MySpace. Feel free to befriend us!

The Williamsburg Spelling Bee

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the coffee is hot and everything else is sugar-coated

August 30, 2006

Today at the hotel’s “Continental”* breakfast, I assured a mentally-handicapped hotel employee who insisted on knowing where I was from that New York is, in fact, “big.” Then I watched her open up the orange-juice machine and insert a very unappetizing-looking box of orange-juice concentrate.

*Continental? What “continent” is that, Donutarctica?

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Jen on Bob & Tom

August 29, 2006

This Thursday, August 31st, at 7am, I will be making my first appearance on the Bob & Tom Radio Network!

Go here to figure out if you can listen in.

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Jen does more Midwest!

August 29, 2006

I’m on the road til 9/10. If you’re in the midwest, come and get it!


August 30-September 3 (Wednesday-Sunday)
One-Liners Comedy Club
50 Airport Parkway
Greenwood IN 46143


September 5 (Tuesday)
Grumpy Dave’s Pub At Easy Street Cafe
104 South Main Street
Bowling Green, OH
419-353-0988
9:00-10:30pm $5 ($3 with student I.D.)


September 7-10 (Thursday-Sunday)
Comedy TN
6102 Macon Rd
Memphis, TN 38134
Thursday/Sunday at 8:15 - $10
Friday/Saturday at 8:15 & 10:30pm - $13
901 384-4222 (384-HAAA)

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on tour in Bloomington

August 29, 2006

I had two great sets at Bear’s Place in Bloomington, Indiana!



Towards the end of my set, I told the audience I had buttons to give away, and if anyone could demonstrate that he or she had pierced nipples, that person would receive two buttons.

A few people came up to me afterwards claming to have pierced nipples, but declined to prove it. Then, along came a man, about 45 years old, who claimed to have pierced nipples. “Let’s see ‘em,” I said. He lifted his shirt … but I didn’t see any jewelry. He insisted they were pierced, but he just didn’t have anything in them.

I turned to his wife, a nicely-dressed, professional-looking woman. “Oh, yes,” she said. “They’re pierced, but we had to take the rings out when the kids started pulling.”

I gave him two buttons.

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Shannen vs. Anjelica Celebrity Deathmatch

August 29, 2006

I’m always interested in Shannen Doherty news, since she’s my celebrity doppelganger.

Here’s me and S.D., matched up by myheritage.com, from this post:


Others, though, have pointed out the weird off-centeredness of her features; note that even in the promo for her new show, Photoshopped to all promotional perfection, she’s kind of posed to the side to hide it.

Now, Shannen is suing Star magazine for claiming she’s had plastic surgery.


Who knows, maybe her cheek implants spontaneously generated via abiogenesis. Screw science.
In other, better news, the MoMA is holding a retrospective entitled “The Huston Family: 75 Years on Film.” Anjelica has aged very well. Always a picture of class. She would never get cheek implants.

   

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Bloomington

August 26, 2006

I did a show last night here in Bloomington, Indiana, for a crowd of fresh-faced college students who were charmingly shocked at all the dirty jokes. It was love all around; I gave out half my supply of Jenisfamous buttons. “You had us at motherfucker,” they said.

Tonight I do two 21+ shows at a bar near campus.

I ate here in Bloomington at the Roots Vegetarian Restaurant, which, as I told the audience, is a great name for a vegetarian restaurant — it reminds me of trees … nature … and an epic movie about slavery starring Levar Burton from Star Trek.

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I am an "avant-nerd"

August 25, 2006

The spelling bee is in the Time Out “New Dork City” issue, on stands now!

Read the complete article here

Look who’s in that picture — my BFF Megan! The photographer took dozens of
photos. I had no idea they picked Megan until it appeared online! The Brooklynite
apparently also considered her the archetype of the adult speller.

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