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Week of Monday, Jan. 29: Entertainment News in Brief

January 30, 2007

Tyra Banks talked to People magazine about the “fat pics” snapped of her on vacation. Banks said that she is retired from modeling and no longer needs to maintain a strict diet. Despite this explanation, she was disappointed that no one wanted to hear her sing “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going.”

The movie Hounddog is drawing criticism for a child rape scene involving twelve-year old actress Dakota Fanning. Upon seeing all the free publicity this got for the film, other movie productions have announced the inclusion of child rape scenes, including Garfield, that Eddie Murphy thing with the fat suit, and the Rocky Balboa DVD release deleted scenes.

previously unreleased Wonder Woman photos

January 30, 2007

I hear some of you like damsels in distress.

Others, not so much.

By Ryan Brenizer, God of the Lens.

tonight’s show

January 29, 2007

Someone from the Associated Press is coming to the show tonight to take my picture for a story on egg donation.

I am trying to dress in a way that flatters my ovaries.

unfortunate headline of the day

January 29, 2007

Hee hee. Mr. Journalist-Man pointed me towards this headline from MSNBC:

Yes. Yes indeed.

p.s. Those of you who’ve been coming to my shows for a long, long time might remember “Decolletage is just a fancy word for “boob crack.”

dorktastic moment

January 29, 2007

I bagged up some trash in my apartment, and noticed an hour later that the trash bag had been knocked over and some junk mail was falling out.

And then I had a thought that went something much like: “Uh-oh! Kitty at work!”

And then I made plans to move to the suburbs, gain thirty pounds, become a receptionist, and be mocked by The Onion for the rest of my life.

subway logistics

January 29, 2007

How often do you think the subway gets to the end of the line, the conductor gets out and hands over the train to the guy on the next shift … and then the first guy gets back onto the train to go home?

my favorite fashion trend

January 29, 2007

You know what I freakin’ love? Black guys in fur coats. I don’t know who started this, but I want to see more.

I have a problem, and I’m discussing it with Jews

January 29, 2007

Heeb Presents: Group Therapy

Thursday, Feb 1
9:30 PM
Mo Pitkins
34 Ave A, NY, NY
$10

Burdened by deep-seeded issues? Existential pangs? Righteous indignation? Attend Group Therapy with cohosts Peter Hyman and Allen Salkin—the only hour-long variety show that lasts 45 minutes. With special guests writer/blogger Jennifer Dziura, writer/molecular biologist Elizabeth May and York City’s best gay, Japanese, Jewish pop singer, Danny Katz.

p.s. – Don’t forget tonight’s (Monday’s) show at Pete’s.

look, I’ve done a bit of butt-modeling myself, and I know I’m a white chick, but come now…

January 26, 2007

…how is this humanly possible? Seriously. How?

Mondays, your ass is mine

January 26, 2007

Monday…

Monday Evening Stand-Up at Pete’s
Monday, January 29th
Pete’s Candy Store, 709 Lorimer St. in Williamsburg
7:30pm
Free candy, no cover

Starring comic (and erstwhile male impersonator) Sue Ball, and also featuring Josh Jackson, Bobby Mitchell, Brent Sullivan, and Kimmy Gatewood.

Next Monday…
<!––>
The Williamsburg Spelling Bee
Monday, February 5th
Sign up at 7, compete at 7:30
Pete’s Candy Store, 709 Lorimer St. in Williamsburg

The bee is back, in its fifth season. A real adult spelling bee, open to all. Compete for bar tab and a slot in the June 11th finals.

best gothic-experimental Idol audition ever

January 26, 2007

I basically never post non-Jen videos on the blog (I liked that the internet used to be about reading), but I have to say I love this guy.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNvSJIEjVsM]

I’ve gotten frustrated lately because they show American Idol at the gym — in closed-captioning. And then I see the judges wincing and I really want to hear how badly everyone sings! Simon told one guy he sang “like a one-year old.” (I looked that one up later on YouTube).

Anyway, Daron Beck needs to move to Williamsburg. It’ll be fabulous.

the rain in spain falls mainly on the plain

January 26, 2007

Two days ago, someone called me about auditioning for a voiceover role. And I was all like “Oh, yeah, sure, I can come in for that,” and then a voice in the back of my head said “You’re on the phone, bitch — maybe this is the audition!” And then my elocution perked up considerably.

late Feb/early March, I may be in your town

January 24, 2007

In case you are wondering what I’ve been up to, I’m planning an indie comedy tour that corresponds with Molly’s book tour (“corresponds” meaning “we’re renting a car together and we’re not telling you about our sleeping arrangements”).

I’m still booking things, so if you’re in DC, Richmond, Greensboro, Norfolk, Durham, or Baltimore and have venue suggestions or other useful tips, do feel free to drop me a line.

swanky photo time

January 24, 2007

I did a shoot for Tom Shillue’s new CD (with lovelies Molly Crabapple and Kimmy Gatewood), and Tom was kind enough to send this shot over.

I’m not sure when the album is coming out or if this is the shot that will be on the cover, but I figured I’d throw it up here on the blog. Tom is hilarious and I highly endorse this mysterious future CD.

Jewcy Victorian Latina

January 23, 2007

I loved Molly before, but I love her a bit more now.

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