A Final Roundup of Tom Swifties!

February 4, 2010

tom_swift_cover_1939_unrenewed.jpgThe Week of Tom Swifties was a resounding success! At least if you define “success” as “Puns make us chuckle!”

(Tom Swifties — named after the titular character in a series of grandiloquently written novels, as pictured at right — are phrases in which a sentence spoken by “Tom” is paired with an adverbial pun). Here are a few more from me:

“I’m sorry I’ve ruined your balloon,” said Tom, punctually.

“I don’t see why my sentence needs a subject when it has TWO predicates,” Tom said, verbosely.

“I’m a huge fan of Paul Reubens,” Tom said, earnestly.

From contributor Eric:

“I can’t believe how easily Vincent fell for my Ponzi scheme!” said Tom convincingly.

“I have finally carved this stick down to just the right size,” said Tom wittily.

Here is a roundup of the best ones posted in the comments:

  • “There’s something rotten in the state of Denmark,” Tom said disdainfully.
    - Galen Brown

  • “I was so excited to hear about your Swifty Bee,” Tom buzzed.
    - Calvin Cato

  • “I’ve always preferred blunt instruments to firearms,” Tom said bashfully.
    - Camilo North

  • “I am not exactly subtle when it comes to my love of French legumes,” Tom said overtly.
    - Matt Penn

  • “My favorite figure of speech is ‘money is the square root of all evil,’” Tom said irrationally.
    - Dan Toma

And actually, I’m just going to re-post this whole damn submission from J.D. Finch:

  • “It’s so nice to see Minnie, Mickey and Donald here,” said Tom goofily.

  • “That’s the last time I’ll listen to a damn thing that Bader Ginsburg woman says,” said Tom ruthlessly.

  • “Wow, you’d think she would have accepted, seeing as how I was offering her a diamond as big as the Ritz,” said Tom cuttingly.

  • “OK, so here’s the thing. It’s a great game and all, but I think that the competion really gets to people and I have seen friendships end because of it. I’m not saying it happened to me, don’t get me wrong, I just wanted to let you know where I stand so we’re on the same page about Scrabble, OK?” said Tom wordily.

  • “There’s no doubt about it, the murder weapon is this pick,” said Tom icily.

  • “I just took a Jack London book out of the library,” said Tom doggedly.

  • “I think I’ll put some nudie pics up on this bulletin board,” said Tom tackily.

  • “J.D. Salinger is dead,” said Tom wryly.

  • “Yes, I use Viagra. Why do you ask?” said Tom stiffly.

Posted by jen | Filed Under grammar, humor 

Comments

One Response to “A Final Roundup of Tom Swifties!”

  1. jen on February 7th, 2010 4:41 am

    “Look at all the prisoners lined up single-file!” said Tom, consequentially.

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