pics from last night's Sex and Candy book party

The book!

The cupcakes!

RKB, me, and Molly

I hand-strung those candy necklaces so they would hang concentrically.

at Molly Crabapple's Dr. Sketchy's art opening

DSC_0512, originally uploaded by brianvan.

If I were a celebrity, someone would add an arrow to this photo and the legend "Baby Bump!" I think I was just standing weird to get closer to the lovely Lady J.

The Tour: Monday and Tuesday

Cross-posted from Molly and Jen's Tour Blog:

And now, I present you with photographs, in rough chronological order, much like the multiple choice questions on the AP US History exam.

From my show on Monday at New Orleans-themed bar, The Red & The Black:







The Palace of Wonders is a vaudeville and sideshow-themed venue which, amazingly, happens to be directly next door to The Red & The Black, which neither of us knew when we booked our shows. From Molly's Dr. Sketchy's on Tuesday at The Palace of Wonders with Amber Ray (who took the bus down from New York and will be here til Friday):






Look, we're not saying we're good photographers. World, listen to us: our job is to BE photographed! How did this happen that we're taking photos of each other's with my circa 1997 digital camera? OTHER people are supposed to do that and then email us impossibly flattering photos of ourselves. If you have a degree in a subject that ends in the word "theory," come along and "other" us.

To conclude, here are some things I have learned so far:

• Free red beans and rice with two-drink minimum is a fantastic policy for a bar. Several times throughout Monday night, I'd see someone look over at someone else's food and say "Rrr, one more drink and that'll be free!" (I'm pretty sure you could buy two drinks for less than the price of buying the red beans and rice outright)
  


• In DC, many streets are named with letters and numbers, which implies a logical grid system. There is, in fact, a logical grid system. However, if you are accustomed to New York's different but also logical grid system, in which, for instance, if you go west on E 42nd St, it will turn into W 42nd St., you will be very disappointed when you, in your Ford Taurus rental, drive east on 12th St NW hoping to get to 12th St NE.
  


• Even burlesque dancers' areolas are not immune from body makeup.
  

-Jen

Spectacular, Spectacular

My inbox keeps filling up with photos. Adira referred to the "paparazzi" at the show, which I thought was funny. From Gary Winter:


Molly at the merch table, looking ladylike
Here are some of Brian Van's photos, with annotation:


Adira Amram! This cutie sold a bunch of CDs.


"Lusty Lady" Rachel Kramer Bussel!


Megan, El Orangina, me looking very surprised!

more fantastic photos of the Spectacular

Some of my favorites are below, annotated. For the whole set, go here:
Jenisfamous Birthday Spectacular photos by Semyon. Semyon knows what to do with lighting! He has made everyone I love look pretty.


Have you ever seen anything as cute as Singing Sadie?

Al Duvall was charming and funny!

y las flores did a gorgeous set.

I admired this man's mustache.

Megan and I are BFF! I love this photo.

The one, the only, Baron Vaughn.

I have been working out my calves.

Yes. This is the kind of party I throw. I adore this woman.

I have been made to look elegant, rather than tipsy.
I think this photo symbolizes the goodness of my world right now.
A huge thank-you to Semyon.

Related posts:

swank
birthday photos by Gary Winter
love and alcohol
Jenisfamous Birthday Spectacular (best enjoyed responsibly)
i can't believe I got so drunk at my party
swan song
there is more to this joke, but I think you'll have to come hear it in person
I'm sure my mom will also email me about this
Yes, of course it is free, my new acquaintances!
Tuesday, December 6th: I formally request the honour of your presence

birthday photos by Gary Winter

Gary must have, conservatively speaking, five thousand photos of me and Molly by now. Thanks, Gary!

Related posts:

my, but i have funny expressions
an ode to the Girdle Factory
good things cooking in the easy-bake oven of life
It looks like a cigar, but it's a feather duster
I'm actually live-blogging from Schaffer the Darklord's show
Feast on figs and halal chickens! Buy detective novels in Urdu!
eyes are the windows to the heart of darkness

my, but I have funny expressions

From my show at Caroline's this past Saturday. Photos by Gary Winter, the man who never leaves his house without a camera.

and maybe now we could make women's clothing entirely from cufflinks!

I'm going to be in a fashion show for La Croix accessories next Tuesday. Here's a picture from the last show I did for La Croix (the handbag is La Croix; the halter top made of neckties is made by, um ... someone who makes halter tops out of neckties).

Photos from the Dark Show

This past Wednesday at the Best of the Dark Show, I performed a spoken word set in which I ironically played the triangle, talked about Spalding Gray, impersonated Schaffer the Dark Lord, and performed a parody, called "Attack of the Mimefucker," of Schaffer's rap song, "Attack of the Clonefucker." Here are some pictures!




"I'll make dirty videos of me fucking my mimes/That'll get reviewed in the theater section in the New York Times."

good things cooking in the easy-bake oven of life

The more divine life is, the less I blog. Incidentally, I'm off to teach a class about inverse proportionality.

Molly's opening at the Jigsaw Gallery was a tremendous success; she sold a couple of pieces, and easily 200 people came through. Here's a photo by Gary Winter of Molly, me as Victorian merch girl, and go-go dancer Lady J.

It looks like a cigar, but it's a feather duster

Here's one more fashion show picture by Gary Winter:


This fashion show took place at the Tainted Lady in Williamsburg in mid-December. The models wore vintage outfits which were auctioned off to audience members (no, you don't get to take the clothes off the models; you get the clothes after the show ends and the models change).

One man in the audience asked me, while I was doing my walk in this outfit, if I liked the outfit. I said yes, and he bid and bought it for me. He said he really didn't have anyone to give Christmas lingerie to, and he wanted to do something nice.

Isn't that sweet? It's like the gift of the Magi, but with lots of lace and elastic.

I'm actually live-blogging from Schaffer the Darklord's show

So far, we've seen ventriloquist April Brucker. Okay, I'd like to review this show, but even though the bar has free wireless, I feel like an ass using it. The pale glow of my computer screen is probably distracting to others, even though live blogging ought to be awesome.

Here are some photos by Gary Winter from the last Girdle Factory show: